♥ pris}

♥ Sunday 23 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> alone <

teddy bears don't hug back, but sometimes, they're all you've got

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 13:53 ]

♥ Saturday 22 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> dear friends, <

dear friends,

i saw something on a close friend's blog that made me cry, then think about things. you know how i always say you guys are my best assets, my fuel. i treasure each and everyone of you. however, sometimes, i wonder what i am to you guys. could you tell me? tell me what a person i am to you guys.
sometimes, i'll just rather you all tell me truths that hurt, than keep them from me and apologise after knowing that i know. because everytime an apology is made in this situation, i will inevitably feel like i'm this bitch who wants to be involved in everything and would be overly upset if i'm not.
but i don't think i am. am i? and when i feel like this, it'll make me cry. friends do make mistakes, do neglect sometimes. i'm guilty of it, yet everyone does.
you all know how i always whine to you guys. sometimes, after i whine, i feel super guilty. because its always me whining, but you all just keep quiet listening to me, and i seldom play the role of the listener. its a selfish behaviour. and for that i really apologise.
something about friendship that i believed since a long time ago, part of the characteristics of my horoscope too, that trust is the basis of every friendship.
i really treasure each and everyone of you. pris loves you all.

your friend forever,
pris (:

'nuff said,
i've been listening to 张韶涵's new album and i find the songs all niceee. so its my new song playlist.

and i love this song the most.

张韶涵 - 失忆

下雨后还给蓝天了晴朗
在分手后不算亏欠
跌跌撞撞的缠绵
认认真真的实现
这样谁不流泪
就当作最后亲吻吧
释放在这事件中不算惩罚
热热烈烈的沉沦
冷冷淡淡的抽身
我算是残忍的吗
我如何假装
我心里不再有你
沉溺后清醒
你却是异常的平静
习惯慢慢失忆
这样就能转移自己
我发现我爱你
就在这一瞬间
倾盆而下的却是
你不安的阴天
毕竟我不慷慨
我并不想害自己

就当作最后亲吻吧
释放在这事件中不算惩罚
热热烈烈的沉沦
冷冷淡淡的抽身
我算是残忍的吗
我如何假装
我心里不再有你
沉溺后清醒
你却是异常的平静
习惯慢慢失忆
以为这样就能转移自己
我发现我爱你
就在这一瞬间
倾盆而下的却是
你不安的阴天
毕竟我不慷慨
我并不想害自己
我不想害自己
我已经失去你
在没有你爱我的那一天
我如何拯救自己
我发现我爱你
就在这一瞬间
沉迷后清醒
你却是异常的平静
习习惯慢慢失忆
以为这样就能转移自己
我发现我爱你
就在这一瞬间
倾盆而下的却是
你不安的阴天
毕竟我不慷慨
我并不想害自己

as much as i don't wanna think about the 9ths, sometimes, i just cnt help but think about it. i wonder yet again, about the many things. i cnt say i no longer care, because i still do. i just don't know how to put my msg across anymore. its not as open anymore.

sitting cross-legged
in the corner
hoping you'll notice.

Labels: friends, lyrics

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 23:57 ]

♥ Friday 21 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> friday's good <

GOOD FRIDAY IS GOOD!!

met up with eli & jia lin today.
shopshopshop.
bought my skinnies @ $28

had tauhu goreng & mee siam for lunch.
peppermint red tea & yella fella fries with herb mayo for tea.
lols. they were shared ok!

neoprints too! jia lin's so cutee.. *inside thing*

i spent lots this week. dead meat man.
i have only 10+bucks for the rest of the week!! =X

and omg.. i think me & dear have the fate to meet in BUGIS!!
today was the 3rd time i'm meeting her unplanned at bugis! ha!

pris wawa-ed again.
pris needs to sleep.

FRIDAY'S GOOODDDD!!
i'm waiting for labour day! its eyegang's outing anniversary =p

NIGHTS ALL!!

smile and smile and smile

Labels: happy, shopping

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 23:59 ]

♥ Thursday 20 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> too true <

worked ot today.
came online late.
been reading horoscopes since then.

was sharing some significant ones with Li Lin..
shall post them out too..

# 感情很脆弱，也许会因为一些很小的事情难过很长时间，所以他们通常在表面表现的酷酷的与事隔离的样子，其实他们只是不希望让别人看到他脆弱的一面

# 随着时间的积累魔羯的人在慢慢变坏

# 当自己努力的去让自己所爱的人幸福的时候，自己所爱的人却因为其他的其他离开了他，而到最后自己却不明白自己到底做错了什么，真是可怜的家伙们

# 追求，魔羯的追求是认真的，只要对方不让魔羯认为完全没有机会，魔羯就会像疯子一样的追求着，他们其实对自己非常没有信心，唯一的动力只是相信自己在爱着，为了对的起自己的感情，为了认真的去爱一回．

# 老谋深算杀人不用刀

# 他习惯了自我伤害罢了

# 他们一旦决定付出情感，总是太汹涌澎湃了，通常是易放难收

true true true?
to me, its true la, these traits feel so true, so me. ha

...........

ooo.. mama ong msged me today, and i got a shock. she's just so cute, ask me if got recommendations for birthday cakes.. haha, msg-chat with her. miss talking to her!! ((:

andandand.. apparently, J CO's donuts are super niceee!!! aunty esther gave me one today! i wanna go buyyy!!

TML'S SHOPPING!!! =DDD weeee~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAI!!!

FALL RAIN OH RAIN

Labels: happy, horoscope

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 23:59 ]

♥ Wednesday 19 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> the other place <

its an unpredictable world we live in.

an accident woke my senses up.
life is that unpredictable.
you never know what's going to happen the next day, the next hour, or even the next second,

every now and then,
i really need such things to remind me that i should be thankful that i need not face those kind of unpredictablities as of yet.

i need some time to get over what i saw today,

i'm slowly picking the pieces up.

Labels: food for thought

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 23:59 ]

♥ Tuesday 18 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> 18march2008, wednesday <

before i start on my day,

http://kissableguy.mediacorptv.sg/contestant01.php?id=214 #

help vote for him!!
can vote once everyday!!
thank you so much darlings!!

..........

PRIS has a nice day today.
weee~
but she spent too much

she woke up, wandered online.
ironed the clothes.
cooked rice.
bathe.
left home.

trained to paya lebar.
wait for dear.
trained to dover.
went through the orientation.
rawrs.
boring!!

then the FUN CAME!!! ((:

dear & i trained to tampines.
we had xiao long bao @ din tai fung
then porridge & noodles @ crystal jade
amt i spent on food = $17
nice food!! yay!! eating with dear is like wonderful!!

then we went to the JL SALE.
roamed around, dug through a pile of accesories
bought a purple hairband, colourful rubberbands, 5 hairpins for a buck!! damn cheap!!

then we went to look for desmond.
chatchatchat.
walked ard pasar malam.
and somemore money spent.
bought 2 tops!
but at least i managed to get my off-shoulder.
something striked off my shopping list.

munched on tutu kueh, and chatted with dear.
trained back.

although i spent quite a bit today, and i need to eat grass for the rest of the month if i want to shop on friday,
PRIS IS A HAPPY GIRL TODAY!!
because pris went out with her dearest dear!!
yayyayyay!! =DD

friday i shall restrict myself to buy at most my skinnies & white skirt!
THATS ALL!!
muahha, but daddy said i could take money from him if i finish spending my allowance! *beams*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YITING toot!

dear got me addicted to viwawa.
wawawawa.. i shall go sleepa alrd!!

i changed the date aye. i don't want to bring forward my post.

nanananah

Labels: happy, shopping

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 23:59 ]

♥ Monday 17 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> sotong <

i cannot believe how blur i am.
i thought enrolment's on wed.
when its supposed to be tml. gosh.
luckily dear reminded me!
THANKS DEAR!!
and i paniced like shit man. but i'm done!!
luckily i paid my fees today alrd!
phew phew phew.

and i had to msg my supervisor at work.
gosh, i was apologising like a million times till she asked me to stop apologising.
such a blur sotong man

..........

i had a super big headache at work today.
and i was scanning documents really slowly and i made mistakes somemore.
gosh. thank god for the break tml
msn was boring. no one to talk to except loser.
i'd rather be downstairs now.

..........

aand i was talking to eli just now
and she did something which no one has ever done before.
THANKS LOVE.
i guess those i wanted to tell you i've alrd told you, and i will show you ok!

i shall really try ((:
and i really mean it!!
i shall fulfill my mission!

..........

and FRIDAY, no work!!
its a confirmed shopping with eli and jia lin!!
i'm gna go crazy shopping!! muahaha

..........

pris will become better!! =D

Labels: school, work

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 23:59 ]

♥ .

Daily Propehts.

> zapzapzap <

LITTLE SUPERHERO GIRL - Corrine May

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don't know where to turn
I've got work piled up to my head
All I want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles
with lemonade
Play hide and seek
with the boy next door
Take a trip to Singapore and
Imagine how I'll make the world
a better place

All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-
Yeah

If I were a little girl
Trying to clean up the whole wide world
I'd kick the bad boys back to school
Teach them fighting's just not cool
I'd give every kid a teddy bear
Turn starving people into millionaires
Break glass ceilings with dynamite
sprinkle a little sugar and spice
Turn the bullies that terrorize
Into pink poodles that bark,
but don't bite

All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-
Yeah

Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me
Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me from myself

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world

....................

woohoo~ this song just kickstarts my day.
i can get high listening to it. hee

gotta go out early today.
visit to SCB = late for work
gosh. i'm supposed to teach aunty nonah where to get documents and all. sheesh.

and i'm stuck on my book.
good thing aye. i spend lesser time online. :)

oh ya!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YINLING/POH BOON sir

i'm gonna zap monsters in outer space,

Labels: lyrics

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 08:39 ]

♥ Sunday 16 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> rabbit <

:D i'm a lil on the high side now.
my whole emotional system is all wrong.
lols.

:D must have been the boiled carrots and baked salmon for dinner.

:D i'm still amazed that my mum still cnt pronounce dear's name properly.
she calls her siewhuan. like -.-

:D i was looking at the sp scholarship website.
and i think my chances are like rock-bottom low.
i've got no achievements and whatsoever. rawrs.

:D i cnt wait to go for work tml.
i'm going to 2nd storey!! msn-abled terminal!!
yayyayyippee!! =DD

:D and i wanna go shopping!!
i've got ever long shopping list!!
- black jeans
- off shoulder top
- brown dress
- white skirt
- pumps mum threw mine away
- flip-flops again mum threw mine away
- tube
- cardi
- eyeliner
- mascara
- shorts
- more clothes
basically i want to go crazy shopping. its been a long time since i felt the shiok- ness of having shopping bags in my hand. *gringrin* I WON MIND SPONSORSHIPS!! =DD
i'm going a lil insane now!! weeee~

:D i cnt wait for wed to come!!
off-day/meeting dear/ sp enrolment/ shopping!!/ (:

:D and i changed my profile pic.
some pic i took during that 45 minutes waiting for HN to open the door for me. heh.

:D shall go read my books before i turn in!!
:DD nights all!! ((:

nanananah

Labels: random

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 22:59 ]

♥ .

Daily Propehts.

> deny happily <

you know how it feels when you're supposed to do something, but you don't and someone accuses you of not doing it, but you'd deny it.
you'd feel guilty.
and i normally feel like this during music lessons.

you know how it feels when you normally do not do something you're supposed to do, but you do it this particular time, but someone still accuses you of not doing it.
you'd feel disappointed, pissed.
and i felt like this during music lesson on saturday.

i practised my piano. but yet it wasn good enough for her. maybe i didn practise as frequently as i'm supposed to, but i tried to practise. i really did. and i almost cried while playing. i could play them at home ok. i hate it la. its so sickening for my standard to just fall like this during lesson time. rawrs.

i feel like i'm living in denial everyday. i convince myself that i should be contented with my life and all. but i'm not. i try to convince myself that i no longer care if he msges me, but i do.
i feel like a liar everyday. everything i do, i say are such lies. i just want to protect my emotions and my life. but i often do not achieve my aim. more often than not, i show alot of emotions when i lie, esp to my mum.

...........

i spent my saturday watching shows online, i just started on TKA, cont'd with YLWBS, drinking soup, eating rum & raisin ice cream and astons', crying in my room, fiddling with my lappie, stretching my legs, sleeping.
i spent my sunday sleeping, headaching over fees, mac-brunch with mama & fel, stroll around bedok, borrowing books from library.

and my wireless at home is screwed lor. like just 1 week only. damn.

...........

life's really making feel sea-sick. its so up and down and up and down.
whenever things make me happy, there'd be things to push me down. then there'll be happy things. then sad things.

i think the only thing that made me happy over the weekend was
* him msging me on his own accord. muahaha. i think i can see him on wed. dear, can we go??
* brunch with mama & fel.
* the lil brown dress. i wanna get it!!!

i shall keep on trying to stay happy.
wanna catch SOL, buy dress, jeans, top. blehs. shall try to get the moolah for it.
andandand, i can meet the makan gang for makan soon!! mARCHE!! haha. mummy didn put me down for work. muaha.

lil superhero girl
i shall try.

Labels: emo, everythingg, happy, music

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 18:53 ]

♥ Friday 14 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> cheeseburger, doubled <

caught THE LEAP YEARS
with mama and eli love
at TM
at 5.45pm

and i had my dinner in the cinema.
and i had double cheeseburger for my dinner.
and guess how long i took to finish my burger.

i took a total of almost 1.5hrs
to finish a double cheeseburger
while watching the movie.

because i was busy concentrating on the movie.
highly recommended movie.
really.
i think its better than P.S I LOVE YOU.
it feels more close to heart.
the plot, the scenes and all.
and i cried.

i love the way the movie proceeds.
flashbacks. with quotes in between.
and the songs are real nice. soothing. and appropriate.

andandand.
after the movie, shopped around with eli. saw this brown minidress and its super nice!! 19bucks. i wanna get it!! *beams*

nice way to spend WHITE VALENTINES' DAY.
yea. i heard from the radio that today is 白色情人节
supposedly, if you received presents on valentines day, today is the day to return a gift to the person. cool.
and apparently there're more weird days.
11/1, 1/11, 11/11 are days to celebrate singledom. cool right. haha.

i wanna catch the movie another time. its niceee.
but i wanna catch sky of love first.
wanna watch it myself. so i can cry myself.

and now, i'm stuck to corrinne may's songs. she sang most of the songs in the movie. lovely. and i changed my songlist to the soundtrack of the movie(:

whats 4 years if the person is the right one.
the only fear is that he is not the right one.

Labels: movie, random

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 23:23 ]

♥ .

Daily Propehts.

> zoom <

i want to fast forward the day!!
so i can finish work
and
start practising my piano
and movie with the girls!!

may i? can i?
hopefully my girls are coping well with their papers now!!

workworkwork.
i want to shopppp!!!! =D
i shall scrimp and save
to buy my skinnies and my top!! ((:

decisions cannot be undone.

Labels: random

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 08:33 ]

♥ Thursday 13 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> green man <

lesson of the day.
never blast music in your ear while crossing roads.

i blasted music in my ears while crossing the junction near my office and almost got killed.
and it spoiled my whole day.
i think i'm stupid.
not gonna elaborate on it.

at that split moment,
how i wished that the car had slammed into me.
because it would mean that everything would end.

but yet, it didn.
i guess
its time for me to accept the fact that
i'll have to continue living my pathetic life
and living it bravely.
because there're more trials to come.

i shall therefore,
try my very hardest to be even more optimistic.
to be a better person,
living a much happier life.

........

i just quarreled with daddy over poly fees thing
and i just found out that i'm in the wrong
shit. i'm gna get great big scolding tml.
and i quarreled with mummy too
because she doesn approve me taking leave tml to practise piano.
so i decided to take half-day leave.
i dont really care. i need to practise my piano like pronto.
and movie with the girls tml. (:

i really think that something i really miss from my past is my laughter and smiles and the way i could communicate with my parents.
as i grew up, i realised i slowly lost them, esp communication.
i shall slowly earn them back.
re-learn them.
take them back.
and i will!!

because he once said that my smile was my greatest asset.

Labels: reflections

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 23:59 ]

♥ .

Daily Propehts.

> rain <

i wish the rain:

would rain more.
would rain longer.
would rain heavier.

because i love the rain.

the sound of it
the feeling of it when it hits your skin.
the sight of it pouring down from somewhere.

i hope i won't miss my busstop today.

wonderful night. never one too many

=D

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 08:38 ]

♥ Wednesday 12 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> silence <

my phone was silent when it should not be.

i love walking in the rain.

i cnt wait for friday to come. lunch and movie with the girls.

承受你被负的伤
就是我的愿望

because i'm stuck in the past.

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 22:15 ]

♥ .

Daily Propehts.

> <

在错的时间, 若遇上错的人，得到是短暂的莫名荒唐，
在错的时间，若遇上对的人，得到是一声的无奈叹息.
在对的时间，若遇上错的人，得到是一阵的伤心感伤，
在对的时间，若遇上对的人，得到是一生的幸福快乐.
taken from weiqi's blog

undoubtedly, i am non other than the very first scenario.
but mine is NOT 短暂.
mine is 一生.
gosh.
i can never grasp my own mind. =x

but who really cares about me?
loser's back and i can start whining again. period.
muahaha.

i'm still unsure as of if i need to work at expo. rawrs.
got makan on 5apr. i have to go makan......
lols

off to work.

walking in the rain is best therapy for the broken soul.
rain rain rain!

Labels: random

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 08:37 ]

♥ Tuesday 11 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> dose <

i need another dose of ...
another dose to keep me going
another dose to make me forget
another dose to bring me back to where i was.

pink calms me.

原来快榮要用悲伤换的

Labels: random

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 23:14 ]

♥ .

Daily Propehts.

> hangover not <

after last night
turned in and cried again.

woke up today feeling much better, but the feelings still around.
ain't looking forward to today much.
movie with the girls cancelled.

but LOSER'S BACK TODAYYYY!!! =DDD
i finally can go on whining!!

and my daddy bought the wireless thingy alrd. =DD
i can finalleh use my lappie in the comforts of my room?

and my pay's safe in my bank!! =))
much more than i expected! =)) lols.

gna get ready for work.

the scar's still there.

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 08:37 ]

♥ Monday 10 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> shoo if you ain't emo elmo <

you know how people often say we should aim super high, because when we fall, we will fall even harder.
i finally believe in it.

i typed a whole lot on yest's squad outing, but i deleted every single word of it
i had a reason for being over-high yest. because i didn want to expose that sad layer inside.
i had a reason for being "ah-lian-ish" yest. because i wanted to feel wild for once to escape that image.
i had a reason for having the guts to stay out late with them yest. because i didn want to be home, alone, and think about the things.

and because yest was too over, i woke up double screwed today.

3 months. it's been 3 months. 3 months of waiting. but the hurt is more than 3 months' worth.
i'm losing myself. i no longer know what i'm thinking. i no longer know the reasons behind the things i do. i am no longer the girl my friends knew.
i used to call others stupid when they were like this. i think i'm the stupidest out of them all. for someone like him. it ain't worth it. but i just cannot help it.
its not like he'll know how much i'm suffering. its not like he'll come comfort me if he knows.
but one thing i know is what he knows too. that i love him much more than he does.

i think i fuck my own life up. and so i'm living a so-fucked up life now. i seriously wouldn mind going into depression. maybe it'll take my mind off this damn thing.
i feel like screaming a whole lot of expletives and cry like there's no tml. cry my eyes blind. i don't really care. i feel real cooped everyday. i cnt express my feelings out right, openly. even talking to friends, there's still residue inside.
the coldness ain't going deeper. it's stabbing me with the same frequency and amplitude as it did the day before, and the day before the day before. the hurt i experience is a horizontal line in the axis of my hurt against the coldness hurled at me.
but because its all too hurting, it ain't gna lessen till i learn. learn to stop waiting. learn to let go. which might easily take me another 2 years?

~~fuck~~.

忘记你我做不到

Labels: emo

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 23:23 ]

♥ Sunday 9 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> come dec 2008.. <

i want dec 2008 to come quick!!
can i skip all the months and go straight to dec.
i cnt wait to turn 18. turn legal.

and. i cnt wait to survive 2 weeks on my own. heh.
my family + relatives are planning a 2 week trip to penang + kl in dec.
and with me having to attend lessons,
they're excluding me from the trip.
and i ain't complaining. haha.

because i'll be left alone in s'pore. yayness.
if my grandparents decide to go, i'll either stay home, or stay at ah-ma's hse.
if they decide not to go, i'll stay at my grandma's hse!
either way, i won't be restricted.
goshgosh. i feel so hyped up.

i wanna find nice nice friends in poly.
then when my hols come, we can go m'sia on our own too! mummy doesn mind! weeee~

i feel so bimbotic saying all these.
but this is so like the first time i gna be so unstricted. no one to call me and ask me what time i'll be home and all. hehx!! =DD

alrighto!
shall get my butt moving and meet the squad for k! =))

Labels: family, happy

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 11:44 ]

♥ Saturday 8 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> night <

i've been having early nights.
9.30 on thrus
11 yest.

early nights give me the time to curl up on my bed.
early nights give me the time to stare at the ceiling.
early nights give me the time to think alot.

and early nights are my crying nights.
my mind will run wildly. tear glands become active. my mind stops running. tears spill out.
and it is unstoppable. seriously.

the number of times i cried yest was uncountable.
when i woke up. when i was bussing to sch. when i got my results. when i was bussing to meet dear. when i was bussing home. when i was msging eli. when i was trying to sleep.

last night was horrible. really horrible. after eli msged me, i started crying. only we both know the content. and only we both know why we both are becoming what-we-are.

and.. i really want to get the ~~fucking~~ results thing out of my mind. its screwing my already-screwed mind up. i seriously hate myself. for getting that ~~fucking~~ grade. its affecting me damn alot. because it's the last NATIONAL exam i'd be taking. and i ~~fucking~~ screw it and get such ~~fucking~~ grades. Don't, don't tell me its good, because its NOT. its good to YOU, because its not your grade. its just courtesy aye. spare me of it then. because i'm not used to it. just leave me alone. your words make it ~~fucking~~ worse. silence wouldn kill. it might help. i think i'm just a failure when it comes to studies. or rather everything. i also screw things and i'm always said to be capable of better grades. since primary school, its has always been like that. teachers are forever commenting that i'm capable of better grades. because not one sees what goes on behind the books. its tonnes of pressure. ~~fucking~~ lots of it. no one can understand. the responsibility. the expectations. i'm a disappointment to my family. and it'll go on. this being just another chapter of my failing glory in the family. leave me alone. stop asking me not to emo. because you'll be depriving me of my only outlet to express disappointment in myself. depreiving me the only outlet to get in touch with my true feelings. no one is the same. and so, you are not me. you don't know how i feel, what i'm going through.
i'm not mentioning anyone. i'm just releasing thoughts.

tonight is an early night again.

its the 9th again tml.
another month has gone again.

and i break

Labels: emo

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 15:07 ]

♥ Friday 7 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> Beaten, not Broken <

so i didn get the grade i wanted.
so i didn hold my disappointment
so i cried again.

thankfully there was dear,miss koh,lilin,nightmare
thankfully there was teoheng
thankfully there was astons
thankfully there was slurpee

i may have been beaten.
i may have not gotten that grade.
i may have cried.

i am not beaten
i am willing to work hard in SP
i am going to put my heart and soul into my studies.

7march2008 - beaten, not broken

i had the urge but i pulled myself back again.
its just a stupid trival matter.

i want to watch sky of love and the leap years.
must catch it!

绝口不提爱你的星座?

第三名：太阳或金星在摩羯座

因为摩羯的务实和对爱情的不习惯，他们也是和处女座一样把感受藏的很深很深，他说出那个字会觉得很做作、很不舒服。但他们会努力地表示，用各种可能的方法和帮助，艰难地表达。对他们来说更重要的是我们如何在一起，如何考虑当下和未来，而不是如何相爱。

什么时候会说出来：被逼急了会不自然地说，或者反倒在不爱的时候才说。

ain't really feeling that good.
i need a hug.

all i wanna do is find a way back into love.

Labels: emo

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 22:36 ]

♥ Wednesday 5 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> blank <

and so,
i didn manage to swim today.
because the sky was crying for me. lols.

done with poly pre-registration.
did my medical check-up in the afternoon.
now i'm left with going down to SP on the 18th
and i'm officially a student of SP.
lols.

you know how sometimes when you dont bring things and you need them and vice versa.
i normally bring my lil umbrella out, and it doesn rain
i left my lil umbrella in my office bag, and didn bring it out today
and it rained like crazy. lmao.
i had to spend 10 ~~freaking~~ bucks for a new one.
3 days' lunch money. i must be outta my mind. gosh.
but at least its black.
i've been wanting a black umbrella for ages.
but mummy refused to get me one.
so i have one now! heh.

and i made a visit to HN's hse to collect the bags i ordered.
quite disappointed with how the bags turned out.
still cnt get over my nice white bag spoiling after 2 days.
oh wells.
chatted with her, crazed around, gossiped.
miss the times i used to spend in her room. sitting on the narrow stairs crazing around.
bussed home.

gotta remind myself to call to book a room @ teoheng.
going there with dear on friday! followed by dinner at astons. weee~
and dear's pei-ing me to SP on the 18th.
yay! dear rocks!!
i love dear((:

better go sleep.
i don't want to miss work tml.

and oh yes. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEANETTE!! ((:

你给我的温柔占满我的生活

Labels: daily, happy

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 22:23 ]

♥ .

Daily Propehts.

> again <

i am seriously amused by how my brain works.
because.
i skipped work yet again today.

i was still hyper up looking at some 7-11 sale thing
and was thinking of getting BnJs back for bro.

and just half an hr later,
walking out.
i felt inferior because of dunno-what.
walk walk walk.
wait for the bus
board the bus.
after 1 stop
i got down the bus
and walked home.

dont ask me why
i dont know why i did that too
i just felt as if there was something more for me to do at home. when there's obviously nothing

i've been having this really bad work attitude these days.
no drive.
i just don't feel like working alrd. i finally understand why yh quit
and i've decided to work till the end of this month. no longer
i need my life back.

and so.
after my half-day on friday,
i shall be a good girl and go to work daily.
" dear, we'll go shopping during weekends and april ok! "

shall spend my day practising my piano, lunching with eyegang, collecting my bags from haoning, and swimming.

i need to think everything over again.
my old ways are coming back.

Labels: work

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 11:36 ]

♥ Tuesday 4 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> big brown envelope <

M&Ns colour my day. =D
even OT cnt take my smile off my face.
i really didn do anything to make myself happy.
M&Ns does wonders, esp to my weight! =X
but who cares, it makes me happiieeee ((((((:

i opened my letter box today.
and found a BIG BROWN ENVELOPE
adressed to me by SINGAPORE POLY!
heh.

i'm currently still suffering from shock
shock from the pages and pages of words they attached.
shall study them in detail soon.
daddy says its about school fees and stuff.

and the first figure i saw was $8,365
school fees for ONE semester!!
like omgosh.
i think i need to apply for tuition grant, and scholarships and whatever financial stuff they have. ha. where's loser when i need him
i don't even know when i'm supposed to report to school and all. haha.
i'm so lazeeee..

mummy says sch starts end april
and she's asking me to work till mid-april.
but i'd rather work expo. i love the memories there. =p

and i'm confirmed working morning on friday
before collecting my results and shopping with dear. =)

12星座谁是感情杀手?

　第四名：摩羯座

　　摩羯座的人很理性，喜欢把丑话讲在前面，他会把很多条件和很多原则讲的清清楚楚，也因此会让人搞不清楚他是在谈恋爱还是在谈判，由于摩羯座的实际常常让在恋爱中一头热的另一半觉得很受伤。

when i first heard it, i thought its a good thing, but as i listened on, omgosh, its not good. haha. =X
and the programme is gonna end soon. sadsad!!

the night is still young, and i feel things coming back.
the tears.
the fears
the silly thoughts

how do i get out of this.
i think
i never will.

Labels: happy, horoscope, school

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 23:01 ]

♥ .

Daily Propehts.

> 倒爱 <

倒爱 - 蔡淳佳

在大树和脚踝之间
缠绕你的誓言
所以撑着
所以心甘情愿

就算爱得很不安全
颠倒了蓝天
至少可以
换个角度来相恋

我以为倒着流眼泪
不经过脸不伤悲
就算看起来受罪
幸福有时候另类

每当我倒着流眼泪
一颗一颗都珍贵
灌溉了败的滋味
狼狈也觉得美

我懂松绑的自由
却无力伸出双手
反正忘了路怎么走
我只能傻傻地守候

i'm on repeat mode for this song.

off to work.

永远的愚人

Labels: lyrics

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 08:43 ]

♥ Monday 3 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> the day after yesterday. <

stomach cramps.
blasting music.
unglam posture.
quiet phone.
maltesers.
twitching left eye.

period. day's over.

A lvl result release this friday.
give me an A for chi pls.
i swear i'll cry if i get anything lower than B man.
oh shit. no loser.
might be working morning.
meet dear to shop after that (:

the temptation's back.
control. yes, control.
hurt so bloody badly.
couldn go to sleep.
woke up in the middle of the night, crying.
searched for it and held it to sleep.
oh whatever. i'm just a weak person.

thanks Li Lin (:

tml's today all over again.
ain't gonna change.

I almost kind of like the pain
Wear your tattoo like a stain
It will take forever
To fade away

Labels: emo, work

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 23:30 ]

♥ Sunday 2 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> punctured <

today's a quiet day for me again.
didn talk much.

was awoken by mummy early in the morning at 6.30am. ^$#%@#% how long has it been since i woke up at 6.30!?
to accompany them for their morning walk.
damn reluctant can.
had to go out in my bed hair.
horrible.

and pissed at i-dunno-what
i was hitting my hair for dunno-what
and my palm just struck my hairclip
and.
i got 2 small puncture wounds. i think its called puncture wound?
and it hurts like shit ok.
coz its at the folds of my palm.
its hurts totally when i try to clench my fist.
and that was the start of my day.
how great

after that was just mainly blasting music into my ears.
and keeping to myself.

2nd march was spent
blasting the same 40 songs in my ears.
sleeping
eating
clearing my clothes
watching the teeve
playing with hp games.
period.

.....

i seriously feel like my life now resembles a punctured tyre.
losing~~air~~steam.
everyday seems to be moving even more slowly than the day before.
i lose the drive to do things.
i only want to be alone. doing nothing. thinking about stupid things.

.....

and i'm supposed to use my PC for now. wtf. i transferred all my documents to my laptop and my bro is asking me to use the PC. coz he says its troublesome to transfer the modem wire around. and daddy's refusing to get the router so i can use the wireless and access the internet in the comforts of my bedroom. damn.

work again tml. sighs.

when will it all stop.

Labels: daily, random

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 22:38 ]

♥ Saturday 1 March 2008.

Daily Propehts.

> BLAST <

i've grown fond of blasting music in my ears whenever i'm out alone.
it just draws me away from my surroundings and feelings.
and the very thing.

i listen to the same few songs over and over again.
the songs, that i cnt stop listening to.
so i decided to just put that few songs in my phone.
and delete the rest.
so i would not need to keep shuffling my songs.

work will become more alone sooner.
YH's working no longer.
Rachel's working at another branch.
lunch kakis' only left with me and annie.

improved my scales alrd. *phews*
priorities. i need to get them right, according to her.

FEB 29 2008
last day of the month.
i totally forgot that the policies needed to be cleared.
and i had to OT to finish the last minute ones.
left work at 8.
when i was supposed to meet mai, mun yee, and DEAR at 6.40. =X
bussed down to bugis -.- could've walked, but i was alrd late
met up with them at NYDC. had my dinner with them looking at me =X
shared tiramisu mudpie with DEAR.
exp. dinner man. 23 bucks!
but meeting with them was priceless!!

went looking around with dear after that.
wanted to get my off shoulder, but thinking of looking for cheaper ones
7-ed home with DEAR! =)

my chi standard is dropping alrd la. according to DEAR.
my usage of chinese words is horrendous. hehx.
needa buck up alrd. =)

the soft toys at NYDC are like so lovable!! plus a free pic of maimai! =p
can santa give me a belated present. i want the elmo. and give dear the eeyor!! hehheh
...........

reflections for FEB 2008

not as emo as jan 08 alrd. tried staying happy. good job pris. i need to keep that up. spend everyday happy and stop thinking about the past.
haven't been very consistent for work. need to work harder this month, leave them with good impression and so i can work again next time.
shall spend more time on practising the piano. i can if i want!!
and be more polite to my parents.
lols. redundant thing, but whatever.

..........

i'm indulging in Dark Chocolate Maltesers, supposed to be for DEAR, but i forgot to give it to her. =p get somemore for her again.

dark chocolate reminds me of him. how he used to offer me dark chocolates.
i was reading the papers today, and i saw something. wanted to inform him, but, didn feel like la. i mean, what would i get? nothing ba.. he'll just thank me, but do nothing about it.
and i was randomly thinking yest, i vocalised it to Li Lin.
the previous was 2 yrs. i wonder if this will last 2 yrs before i can move on again. as much as i wouldn want it to happen, somehow, if the 2 yrs could be a different 2 years. though i know its impossible. just hoping to accumulate more happy memories. so when i finally can leave, i have the happy memories left for me to look back at. its all fate.

.........

The Greatest Love Of All

I believe the children are our are
future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the
beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be
Everybody
searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found
anyone to fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend
on me

[Chorus:]
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's
shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I live as I believe
No
matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because
the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of
all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I
believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the
way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of
pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to
be

[Chorus]

And if by chance, that special place
That you've
been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

this is gonna be my theme song for the month of march.

buck up and move on!
blast my old ways!
pris will move on!

Labels: emo, lyrics, reflections, work

[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 22:07 ]