the last day of jan08 got better as the day passed. i woke up feeling really sad again coz i saw a sad nick from him yest. yeaa. i'm that affected.. fell asleep on the bus ride to work. didn really sleep well coz my mind was supersuper active. reached busstop, walked to office. saw yh at first, then walk closer, saw the bitch. rawrs. then i totally didn talk la. i was still thinking abt him, not yh duh
work work work, msged loser coz i was feeling real emo. and he pei-ed me throughout my emo period until my day got better. thanks loser!
took loser's advice and msged him. finally knew the reason. and i cheered up looking at his msg. it wasn much. but i had fun with him joking abt his boss! ayeaye! simplicity laa. simple fun. that's how simple we can be. muahaha. ... ...
then when work was ending.. daddy called me to tell me that he was picking me up! yay! and he was going to collect the lappie he ordered when he renewed the internet contract! yayyay!! so NOW, i have my lappie!! weee~ thou its not working yet, and its rather big. i don really care! I GOT A LAPPIE!! WEEEEE~ lols.
... ... i don't know where i stand in your heart boy. but i want you to know, that you're no 1, tgt with my gfs. i'll ps neither you nor them. serious. everytime i msg you and see your reply, i smile. coz i know, you want me to. somehow, your smile, your optimism keeps replaying in me and i always have the urge to do so too. and sometimes i do. i try to keep it up everyday. because i know, when the day comes, i'm gonna lose you. i'll have to let go when the day comes. and though it will hurt, i know we'll be free after that. i no longer have to yearn and wait for your msges, no longer need to wait for you to come online, no longer need to anticipate your date. i guess letting go is part and parcel of the game we're playing. so let me enjoy this last stretch of happiness, sadness, laughters, tears, longing. because ilu. ... ...
and since today is the last day of jan, i shall reflect on my month. i was totally a wreck this month i think. emoemoemo and workworkwork. nothing much other than those. spending hours staring at the comp for 10 hrs a day. jan08 feels like a failure. it passed so quickly can. like in the blink of an eye. it felt like yest that i was doing hw for jie on nyd. jan08. hopefully the decisions i made will be right. as i move on to feb 08, i want to make more right decisions. to make living even more meaningful. to emo less. to practice my piano harder. to stop spending so much time online. to sleep earlier. to smile more. i want feb08 to be a better one than jan08!!
~~~
did i mention that nightmare is ever so wols.. he has the memory of a brother bear.. short memory.. lousy nightmare!! muahaha.. he doesn get the point of my previous para for him lor.. its bolded somemore.. zomg la. ehh nightmare.. look look look laa. how you mj w/o looking one nia! haha.. anw, all the best for ur FYs kkays!! rawrs!! =p=p=p'
and LOVE's not online!! :(( i cnt talk to her. nvm, shall talk to her non-stop tml!! and camwhore!!
DEAR!! when's ur turn huh!?
and tues with psychos.
zomgg. i don't want to go to work tml la.. that yh not at prinsep lehhs, he wasn today alrd la.. sadsad. but i'm meeting him for lunch tml! muahaha.. coz, lunch w/o him is boring coz i'll zibi. lols. =.=
i'm too lazy to post pics la..
I MISS DEAR!! I MISS LOVE!! I MISS EYEGANG!! I MISS PSYCHOS!! I MISS MAKAN!!
zomg.. can i meet them all!!!! i love you ppl!!!
i still want a gor..kor..elder brother..
[update] i just random-ed with nightmare again. ok. he's not that wols after all. thanks for the offer nightmare! its ok really! come for squad outing ok!! wee~ nightmare's nice gor la.. but he's NIGHTMARE!! wee! ok its real random. coz i'm yippe hopiiee now! tml meeting love, then maybe dear coming also!! dear comecomecome!! weeee~ and i cnt wait for wkends.. really. yipppeeee!!
close friends know that i don't mind them calling me short. BUT like i said, CLOSE FRIENDS. i totally hate it when strangers or not-so-good friends say that i'm short. because, they totally have no right to judge me and criticise me saying that i'm short. esp when they tell me straight in my face that i'm short. yeaa. i'll hate you forever i tell you. its not my fault that i'm short you bitch. so what if you're tall, taller than yh. big deal ah. being tall doesn give you the right to say "eh you're really short". fish you. so what if i'm short. i feel so much more confident than you la. i don't have such bad taste to get purple and green specs. i don't have a mum who forces me to work at someplace which i don't like. i don't need to worry abt not being able to wear heels so as to protect my oh-so-precious long legs. i don't have to worry abt hitting my head. i don't have to worry abt bird shitting on my head, coz it'll hit yours first. may you break your legs man. ugly woman. tall big deal la. asshole. absolutely pissed with her man. what an ass.
alrights!! heck that bitch.
i had this dream yest. and i really think.. its like what ppl say lor.. you dream abt what you think alot in the day. i dreamt that i had a gorgor. 2 elder brothers to be exact. and they were very protective of me until my bf got pissed with me. lols. skip that bf part la. =.=
i've always wanted gorgors lor. somehow i see my friends who have gors, be it real or fake, they seem like they always have their gors there to protect them la. i've always wanted a real biological gor lor. someone who can protect me when i get bullied. and someone i can confide in. and when he gets a gf, i can get presents from his gf too! i always feel that girls with gors feel different. they seem less emo, more confident.. lols. i think its my imagination lehhs, but i always had that impression!! I WANT A GORGOR!! lols.
i rmb back in tk sec 3, i had jt as my gor. haha.. yeaa. he was those kindda of will-let-you-bully kindda gor. but he was caring also la.. haha.. but after sometime, some things, no more gor and mei alrd. but i will still call him gor if i ever see him lor. feels natural.. lols. oh whatever. i think i'm talking crap.
another person who has been a gor to me, is the NIGHTMARE laa. thinking back, since sec 3, he has always been there for me lor. ok. not for me, for tkrcy, but ehh i'm still close to him okk.. rawrs. he has so many nicknames and all.. haha.. although he forgot my birthday!!, he's still nice ok. i always disturb him and he doesn ignore me. and i always have fun talking to him man. muahaha.. he's like this brotherly bear!! muahahaha.. BUT i will NV call him gor. coz he's NIGHTMAREEEE!! muahahaha..
random random.
my whole family have had our haircuts alrd. and to my horror, my bro has the longest fringe now ok!! wa lao! i'll die la. hmm, coz me and my bro always compare fringe length, and being me, i always have longer fringe than him. but his fringe is damn long also ok. it like can touch his eyes. bh.. and after my haircut, my fringe is so short, my mummy's fringe is so short, HE HAS THE LONGEST FRINGE!! i'm JEALOUS of my bro's LONG FRINGE!! damnit. but i still love my bro la. although he's irritating and such a big bully, he can be an angel when he wants to. and now, this moment, i miss him coz he's at camp. gosh, i hope he cnt survive there and cry and complain when he gets back on fri!! hahaha. and my bro is smart ok.. just that he;s plain lazyyy! lazy pok, like me like that. heee. =p at least he's neater than me, and he's so much more thrifty than me ok! he has so much more savings than me ok! wth! eh, but i still love my bro la! and his ever-so-entertaining mickey mouse. yea. he's a mickey mouse fannatic man. he has 2 mickey soft toys with him since childhood and he doesn bear to throw it away ok! he girlish in this way. but i still love him! haha
i hope everything was alright for you today boy.
i'm meeting my LOVE at singpost this friday!! yayyy!! this fashion + subway! cool! i love my LOVE!!
and jx coming to see me at work on sat!
and monday's shopping with kimkim and weiqi is confirmed.. the rest.. tell me lehhs! TELL ME YOU'RE COMING!! muahaha!!
alright. i've been falling asleep on the busride to work ok. i cnt slp on busses one.. so it means i've been deprived of sleep. so i promised LOVE that i'll try to sleep early from now on. so..
i just went randomly to yiyan's blog. and i saw things abt fdc. and i'm feeling TOTALLY GUILTY now!! and i'm serious. i have not seen their formations yet. i have yet to go for any trgs. what shit am i man! omgg..
i need to pray hard for them!! GET SIR'S BABY BACKKKK!!!
i practically gave out everything i have alrd. confidence and luck to dear and des. strength to LOVE. i've got nothing left inside me. except all those insane empty thoughts. i'm resisting the urge to msg anyone.
i scanned a huge stack of documents today. and had chicken rice for lunch. =.= with the middle row. and coz there wasn enough tables. then they left me and yh to eat at another table. wtf. whatever. yh's gonna work till end of feb. means i will STILL be alone during march. siannnsss.
and i think i've been msging too much. i didn't even realise that i've msged so much alrd lor. damnit. i've got abt 250 msges left till 11 feb. damnit. rawrs. so! i'm currently msging love and des only. plus sometimes yh and loser. cnt help it la. cny period. need to msg also arhhh!!
and my assumption yest was partially correct. no news = good news. des managed to get through the first round and he'll be sitting for the test and going for interview tml i think. all the best dear boy!! i've probably told you everything i want to tell you in my msges. =) and the thing is, i don't know which he appealed to. i hope its what i want thou..
aishh.. i'm having the scary feeling again. i so want to see himmmm! before this wkend!! rawrs. =.=
mummy's sick. random
hopefully 5th feb willl be on laa. i really want to meet the girlsss!! and friday!! pizza huttttt!!
i need $$ like totally. i'm low on cash alrd. darn!
this is another of those listening-then-suddenly-catch-the-lyrics-which-applies-to-me song. ha. lols. i've songs ready to be posted on certain days. not in the near time though. when the situation i'm in allows me to.
rainbow section, where i work, felt like an illegal immigrant hideout. esp the middle row. where i sit. there just weren't enough computers for us to scan/review. so me and naz, my reviewer, took turns to use the comp to scan/review. it was ok la. and naz told me i scanned abt 1100 documents in the 20 days i was at ubi. yayness. lols. and i'm now closer to rachel and yong he alrd. haha.. gosh. how i wish they'll stay for longer. if not i'll be alone. thou i'm used to it. but rainbow isn like ubi. there's no aunty judy & daniel & ricky.. sighs.
i was unusally hyper today. which meant that deep inside i was real emo. i was using my laughters to hide that feeling.
was msging jie this morning.. then suddenly she touched the topic abt him. i was momentarily stoned. i couldn give her an ans. well, we're no-good-news-no-bad-news kindda i-dunno-what-kind-of feeling came to me. i hate this feeling lor. and jie told me somethings which i hope will really come true la. but i know, its quite impossible la. i miss jie lots la. i've known her for almost 10 years alrd. we seldom keep in contact, but we always have things to talk abt when we meet. and now, we have me to talk abt. hopefully if she ever comes into poly, we'll get into the same course, coz she chose the same course as me! yay!! but jie! study hard and stay there la. don't come here. lols.
chatting with LOVE is a daily affair. its like a prelude to her mugging session and my blogging session. lols. i totally love chatting with her. we always talk abt the same things, but we get different perspectives on different days. its real comforting and all. =))
i currently miss 2 grps of ppl alot!
CHENGMISTRY
&
EYEGANG!!!
sometimes, i really regret not holding on to that jc life. as i hear abt things happening even within the class, i feel really down. 12/07, a rather bonded class, has now become like this. sighs. even within the clique. =((( arghs.
i should be having a date with LOVE this friday. pizza hut plss. and the girls for free! haha. i miss my girls alot! and i'm gging gaigai with them. need to get clothes for work la. running out of clothes. formal ones and basics esp.
random i love this pig bolster man! my b'day present from mai i think. almost 2 years i think. forgot. =)
i really hope everything went well for you today. may i assume for this time that no news = good news?
and today marks 17 years and 1 month i'm on earth. and HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEIZHEN!!
i know i haven't been posting songs. so here's one today. its on my phone, and i was listening to it today, and i recognised the lyrics as what i am feeling like now.
i'm satisfied. really. to finally see him after more than a month. and talk to him face to face.
i'm happy enough. serious. to bump into him accidentally outside the canteen. and chat with him so openly and abt his results which made me super emo the other day
i've learned something. though its nothing big. that being optimistic keeps one afloat. and it helped me.
i'm contended. totally. to just poke him. and see him concerned.
i'm looking forward to next week. absolutely. to the dinner i'm going to have with him. and to work in close proximity to him.
okk. work was enjoyable due to the above. all those came straight from my heart. i'm satisfied alrd. with him and myself. =) thou dinner was supposed to be today, and i went w/o dinner coz it didn turn out right, at least he called. pleased enough.
and i really forgot how it felt to stand for so long. ha. plus my shoes.. made my toes and the back hurt. even worse, i forgot to cut my toenails and put plaster. so i had to go buy plaster, and bear with the pain from my thumbtoe. was limping at times. and i just took off my shoe and stand barefooted when i was folding the clothes.
oh ya, i was working at kids. wanted to change at first, coz i wanted to talk to elvin, but it turned out to be a blessing. coz he not elvin la worked just in front of my wagons. ok, a few wagons away, but i could still see him la. =p and kids = slack coz got no mummy to supervise. hopefully there was no spotcheck, if not, i won be able to work there alrd la. coz i was really really really slack. rawrs. =x
i was real bored, that i took the measuring tape and folded a rose. and took photos.. which could do with real emo captions. lols.
my love ain't made of measurements.
because i could not measure your love for me
i personally like this alot.. =p my love shouldn be priced and measured
and the shoes that caused me to limp.. i long for the other pair.
aishhh.. have to go back to scanning tml. sianns.[content deleted]
anwwwss, i shall go get my slp la. eyebags super heavy!!
andandand. des, i'll be waiting for your good news aye. ALL THE BEST my dear boy!! =) you don't read thou
i'm gging to pray for des and slp soon! and in case you forget the happy smiley mee..
ok. i'm gging out for lesson then work. i dunno when's the next time i'm gging to blog. prob after the weekends. i'll try real hard not to emo. i'll just enjoy his presence aye.
and i pinned up my disgusting fringe. and i look instantly better! cool aye.
and DEAR!! 3rd NOT FREEEEEE!! WORKKKKK!! unless you want to meet me after 10.30pm.. hehx.. i miss you DEAR!!
as the day comes to an end. i wonder how i survived through today.
last night was really horrible. i cried like i dunno what. everything he said made me cry. even if it was nothing. or things that used to make me smile. i cried. i went offline w/o telling him and msged him to apologise and told a lie. you were the thing which made me feel uncomfortable and his understandings and concern made me cry even more.
it has been rather long since i cried like this alrd. but the feeling's so familiar it felt as if i've been crying daily.
and i woke up this morning. heart racing. no idea why. did things blurly. and cried somemore in the toilet.
went to kaki bukit cc to get my singpass done. bussed to work. skipped lunch to cover the 1 hr i was late for work. survived on 2 cups on milo and a bottle of water. was msging loser throughout too.
as time passed at work. closer to that time. i started emoing more. i looked at my phone in 5 min intervals. i longed to receive his msg it nv came. i teared from time to time. and wiped them away before anyone saw. teared even more on the way to grandma's hse for dinner.
home. stoned and thought alot.
i don't want much. i don't need you to tell me that you love me. i just want you to show me the care and concern i show to you. i just want you to ask me how work is from time to time. i just need you to start saying hello to me online. i don't even need you to pick things to talk. just hi/hello. if you think i'm totally irritating. if you think i'm totally desperate. pls tell me. so i can harden my heart and let go. let go of this relationship that i'm holding on so dearly to. let go of all the sufferings i've been having. your harsh words will give me strength to. i dont want to hold onto something which will still fail eventually.
i somehow dread going to work on wkends alrd. elvin is bound to interrogate me. and all those memories will rush back.
i feel like i'm living my life with lots of regrets. regrets fill my life.
emo things aside. i've made my choices for my poly courses. SP BMS, NP BMS, NP PHARM, NYP PHARM, NYP NURSING, NP NURSING, NYP DENTAL, SP ACCT, NP ACCT. somehow somehow, i hope i get into np pharm lor. i want to take TCM elective!! =(( but whateevr, i'll just do my best and achieve my aim! TOP THE CLASS! then THE SCHOOL. rigghhhttt. big aim man. i'll slowly achieve it! i can do it!! woo~ =.=
and i'm gonna cut my hair after work tml. i want something new. so be prepared to see a new me! hopefully!
life's all about letting go. when will i be able to?
i wonder why, but i feeling scared. scared about you. =(
zomg. i just checked online and realised that i need some singpass thing to register my schools for JAE. so stupid. tml have to wake up early and take time off from work to get the singpass thing. rawrs.
i did scanning and ironing of clothes in the fastest time ever today man. i dunno why. and lame shit is becoming lamer man. rawrs.
GOOD LUCK FOR EVERYONE TML!!
[update@23:03] ok. i'm feeling real emo now. i have no idea why. i know.. the thought of applying for sch scares me off alrd. i'm scared i will miss the dateline. and i know another reason is the usual reason. him. i have no idea why. sucks. i feel totally down and out. i don't want to work tml!! i'm having high hopes tml. even lame shit told me something which i think he won't. arghs. i cnt help it. emo is coming back. tml shall become zibi like lame shit says before he comes back on monday. =(( i miss him alottt. i miss demonkid like shittt!! i know i can see him on sat and sun.. but somehow tml brings this down-ness to me.
[update@22:31] i'm feeling even emo-er as time passes. i'm tearing occasionally. it sucks totally when i see my friends caring for me more than he does. ppl i am not so close to, like kenneth and lame shit and loser. they care for me alot more than he does. and even worse, when i talk to him, and i see things he tells me, i really hope for it to happen, but something tells me it won't. i really dunno what to do. i'm back to listening to 有一种爱叫做放手 again.. nightmare, can you give me some of ur strength? i fear everything thats gging to happen. every little thing. arghs.
i was doing real random thinking the whole day today. i was thinking over what i wrote abt my 3 wonderful friends.. and i realised that between me and Li Lin, there's this appreciated silence. even though we don't msg as often as i do with LOVE, even though we don't meet as often as i do with DEAR, we are still able to have this chemistry between us. we are able to know what each other's rxn will be, what we would be thinking at that pt of moment of seeing/hearing something. thats how special our friendship is. thats why, though like i don't have much to talk abt our friendship, its special in its own way. not that LOVE and DEAR's friendships are not special. there's are in their own ways.
and zomg.. i didn know that my hp no and all, is open to all staff of my work company. that lame shit, by the name of yong he, managed to get my number ok, and we had this real lame sms convo. rawrs. he's real lame man. he calls me dutchlady..=.= coz. i taught him the meaning of going on dutch. =.=(X2) he's a future sp-ian too.thats what he says.
somehow somewhere sometime.. i suddenly randomly stupidly went to think abt giving up on this rlns i'm holding onto like crazy now. i dunno why. but no, i am not emo. i was thinking thinking thinking.. then there felt like someone inside telling me that i shldn do so, coz since ive given myself a time limit, i should make full use of it. ok. lame. but yea. thats how random i was.
and i was lame enough to only take out my earpiece and listen to music when work was going to end in an hr. i was sleepy la. pls la, at ubi, i can nap for up to 45 mins during lunch, but i cnt here. it makes a diff lor. =p
and my NEW bag spoilt today. damn saded can. today is only the 2nd day i'm using it. then the handle ring tore alrd!! its suayness, coz hn's one's still ok. rawrs. daddy's fixing it for me! yay! but i will have to use old bags tml and days to come! =((
arghs. whatever. i shall not be emo. during dinner, there was this couple + sister sitting at my table. and i was superly ultimately pissed with their "super-fake-and-disgusting-and-so-not-angmo-accent" convo. its not even amgmo-ish. i think they're malaysian, from the way they speak chi, and coz the bf is a german, and they spoke eng. omfg, horrible and unpleasant to my ears. e.g. same became sam. and they were taking photos in the hawker center. not of the food, of themselves.. =.= zomg. ultimately ... rolls eyes
aishh. song today.
TiAmo - 炎亞綸 ＆ 劉力揚
是重复的动作 因为有你 让一切都变成不平凡 好想缝合你我手心 就这样牵住放不开 有你陪伴 呼吸着有你的空气 就是幸福 Ti amo Te Quiero 每一天都要爱上你 想着你 沉入梦境 一张眼 一清醒 第一个想到又是你 Saranghe And I Love You 我每天都要爱上你 少一天 就会遗憾 陪着你的光阴 怎样都不算蹉跎
oh boy, i'm loving you more and more as the days passes. **hug**
i love talking to LOVE!! we always manage to link random things tgt and i'm always smiling with i talk to her. and i know this will nv change.. RIGHT LOVE!? gee. i totally feel lovely and loved ard her. we talk from menses, to sch, to BFS, to work, to love, to boys everything under the sun. yea LOVE, I LOVE YOU!!
of coz i have DEAR! DEAR is shopping-cum-makan partner. yay! DEAR nv fail to un-emo me de! and yay! i will be seeing ALOT of DEAR when sch reopens!! yay DEAR!! I LOVE DEAR MANYMANY!!
and i have my LOVELY GIRL, LILIN!! she's emo partner. emo with me, laugh with me. muahaha. sec sch wld have been blah w/o her. and we both love THIS FASHION!
i dunno what inspired me to write all those. ehh my 3 wonderful friends!! muackx to them!! =DD
that aside. i'm confirmed going to work my weekends at JL EXPO SALES. half-day on sat, full on sun. 2 weekends. this wk and next wk. i was supposedly irritating mummy to ask them if i could work, but mummy didn want. BUT they approached mummy to ask if i could work! muahah. i'm WELL-LOVED by them! haha. the boss's sis went to tell everyone that i'm hardworking.. yea right man, i'm hardworking coz i've got dagger eyes of mummy staring at me. rawrs. so anw, working means more moolah, BUT it also means that i'll miss shopping with clara, and also cnt cut hair. sighs. and as i was telling LOVE, somehow now, other than the money, nothing much attracts me to work there anymore. i'll most likely become emo after working. the place, the environment reminds me of him and all the fun i had with the guys. the swearing, the laughing, the whackings, the teasings. everything. the pokes from him too. arghs.. cnt emo!
talking abt work, somehow, prinsep doesn feel as nice as before. i'd rather ubi now. how ironic. i miss ricky, david, and AUNTY JUDY!! omg.. i miss aunty judy lots. her loud voice cheers me up. rawrs. and ricky's laughter. and david's thank yous. ahhhh! can god pls send me back to ubi!! haha.
i hate having my period. sucks. random
i wore mummy's tunic with jeans to work today. and i think i looked weird!
lazy to post pic today.
EVER EVER AFTER - CARRIE UNDERWOOD
Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true Deep down inside we want to believe they still do And a secret is taught, it's our favourite part of the story Let's just admit we all want to make it too
Ever ever after If we just don't get it our own way Ever ever after It may only be a wish away
Starting your fashion, wear your heart on your sleeve Sometimes you reach what's real just by making believe Unafraid, unashamed There is joy to be claimed in this world You even might wind up being glad to be you
Ever ever after Though the world will tell you it's not smart
Ever ever after The world can be yours if you let your heart Believe in ever after
No wonder your heart feels it's flying Your head feels it's spinning Each happy ending's a brand new beginning Let yourself be enchanted, you just might break through
To ever ever after Forever could even start today Ever ever after Maybe it's just one wish away Your ever ever after
(I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss)
Oh, for ever ever after
tonight, i wish my wonderful friends stay by me for ever ever after ❤
".. no wonder you're from tkss" that mention from him, threw me off totally. i haven't heard someone mentioning that in a long time. in addition to seeing mrs chee yest, i haven been feeling that very good. i feel like i've let down my tk teachers, esp mdm ong and mrs chee. they were the 2 who pushed me on through last year. i rmb promising them that i'll hang in there. and finish my jc education. but i didn, and i feel totally guilty coz i really didn put my best foot forward. ".. see you ard" was what mrs chee told me. i dare not see her ard. i dont even know if she knows abt the me now. sighs. i feel so ashamed to proclaim myself as an ex-tksian can. i dont have the fighting spirit instilled in the 4 yrs there. someone kill me plss. i hate this me totally
enough of emomo stuff.
i'm happy girl. (:
msned with him just now(: i finally bid goodbye to the useless GC. =p i cleared my debt with HN. CNY cookies are homeee! prinsep tml!
actually, i look at the list above. such things didn make me a happy girl 2 weeks back. but now, as i learn to appreciate the simple pleasures of the little things in my life, i become more optimistic and i don't emo so much anymore. the black clouds in my head is slowly clearing up. i feel lighter as the days pass. i hope i can be like that everyday. really. it would be so much better than me in the past. thank you to the many ppl who helped me change. dear, love, lilin, loser, him. ((: yay!! "priscilla's a happy girl too! " (:
i tried walking from home to the mrt station just now. and i took abt 10 mins to walk there. omgg. i hope i can sustain walking to themrt everyday when sch starts. and talking abt sch, i feel real unsafe now. rawrs. i'm thinking of pharm in NP, but it doesn give me the requirement to get into the NTU course. oh no. i don't have much time to think either. they say O lvls results' coming out soon. means registration for sch is coming. and i'm feeling so.......now. D.I.E! i'm losing freedom soon.
ok. i haven't been blogging in paras in a long time. haha.
oh yea. being random. i was having this craving for hot food in the afternoon. so i went to bathe, then when i was abt to cook maggi noodles, i felt like drinking chicken soup from the nice aunty downstairs (i've known the aunty since pri 6. she's real nice!) so i went down with my fugly wet hair and all. BUT, aunty was open, so i went to get fish soup noodles. that was at 3+pm. mummy came back from JB at abt 5+pm. we went to pick bro and had dinner abt 6+. and i felt like eating zhu1 jiao3 chu4. and mummy ordered for me! tgt with stingray and all. and i ate again, thou i didn eat the zhu1 jiao3, i drank the chu4. =.= ok lame shit.
fugly me.. omg. i had to hide my face! my fishy soup noodle! =p i miss my GC alrd. as if
SUPER SUNSHINE - GARY CAO GE
You Are My Sunshine My Only Sunshine 是你让我懂得爱 幸福却简单 You Are My Sunshine My Only Sunshine 因为有了你的爱 从此不平凡 展开
曾经为了爱情寻寻觅觅 却换来空白 终於随著冬叶走向渐黄 放弃了等待 出乎意料 你就这样闯进我的生命来 就是你 YA 让我发呆也想著爱
You Are My Sunshine My Only Sunshine 是你让我懂得爱 幸福却简单 You Are My Sunshine My Only Sunshine 因为有了你的爱 从此不平凡 展开
You Are My Sunshine My Only Sunshine 是你让我懂得爱 幸福却简单 You Are My Sunshine My Only Sunshine 因为有了你的爱 从此不平凡 展开
谁说爱情都有期限 谁说爱情没有永远 只要望著你的双眼 不管未来有多远 都能看得见 原来爱情像个圆圈 起点 终点 同一条线 只要甜蜜不断蔓延 心贴著就不疲倦 永远其实近在眼前 You Are My Sunshine My Only Sunshine 是你让我懂得爱 幸福却简单 You Are My Sunshine My Only Sunshine 因为有了你的爱 从此不平凡 展开 Everytime I See Your Face 甜蜜不断在蔓延 OOOH~~~ Everytime I See Your Face 甜蜜不断在蔓延 你的爱 从不平凡 展开
i'd better sleep soon. tml need to wake up early. sighs.
tudou cheated my feelings! ): i woke up early to watch dnbyb. BUT cnt load lehhs. )): so i ended up playing games on neopets. =.=
meeting CL later to pass her my GC. money's coming! but its like going out. to HN for the bags, Jelyn for the JTS long time ago. =p and all my money will be goneeee! ))):
i'm so tempted to ps cousins to go work lehhs. i need the moolah. and i want to see himhimhim. =X sheesh, dunno lehhs. i'll just decide later.
i'm just feeling random and happy today! i'm holding you to your words ah. i'm waiting for the date! =D
i'm learning to enjoy the simple pleasure you give me, boy. i can smile now. even if my msges go unreplied. as long as you take that lil initiative. and i miss you like crazyyyy! gonna see you soon. i hope. will i?
been listening to 幸福的风 for the past 1.5 hrs. dunno why. just stuck on the song. but today's song is..
good news for me today! ((: i'm going back to prinsep to work!! means... its so much easier to go out shopping after work!! and meet friends! =D yay! and i should be having aunty alice & aunty annie there!! yayyay!!
and i'm finally bidding goodbye to my GC!! muahaha. which means. i'm having $$ coming in!! yay! hopefully CL's frd cnt find his GC. ok. i'm bad. but i need $$. i still owe jelyn 42bucks. my god. and i bought 3 bags from online. double my god.
thats all the good things for today laa.
i still felt real sick at work today. and the stack of documents from yest didn really help. =X i drank like 2.5 bottles of water. went to the toilet 4 times. used 8 pieces of tissue. coughed like a million times. ha.
sometimes, i wonder if me msging my frds coz i'm emo will affect them. pls tell me if i do ya. =) and... ... ...
i'm giving myself 3 more thrus to make a decision. 3 more thrus = v day 2008 v day 2008 = last and final day of hardcore emo-ing/the start of something new. rawrs. i think i won't be able to keep to it. but i'll try yea.
no song today. coz imeem refuses to load for me. :((
i miss you like crazy nuts. 1mth7days. i long to hear you asking me to jia you. will i hear it again. you always told me to smile. to say no to emo. i tried. i really tried. but i cnt. coz i miss you lots. and i'm sorry for all those words.
i feel real lost now.
going out to meet the class soon! ((:
[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 11:05 ]
♥ Tuesday 15 January 2008.
Daily Propehts.
> <
i'm not going to work tml. sore throat + flu + near-mental-breakdown state screw mummy for screwing me today. screw myself for meing such a weakie. screw myself for using 3 forbidden words on inoocent loser yest. sorry loser screw myself for thinking so much screw myself for emoing so much screw myself for everything that has happened since 9th dec. the last day i saw him screw my world. period.
i just hope the ppl i'm meeting tml will be able to cheer me up a teeny wenny bit will do.
i'm ok ppl. really. just leave me alone. physically and mentally. i need to let things out.
i think i'm too dependent on LOVE whenever i'm emo its no good priscilla ho. not good at all. i should learn to face up to such things myself. learn to stand strong.
thanks LOVE all these while. i know all these makes you think abt your past. sorry i always say that you're in the same situation. but i know you're different from me. you're much stronger than me. you're alot more brave than me. you will always be that strong LOVE in me. the strength for me to just go pass every night. thank you LOVE. from the very bottom of my <3
i'll try to stay stong. try very hard.
eyes on me - faye wong
Whenever sang my songs, On the stage, on my own, I never said my words, Wishing they would be heard, I saw you smiling at me, Was it real? Or just my fantasy? You'd always be there in the corner, Of this tiny little bar.
My last night here for you, Same old songs just once more, My last night here with you? Mayber yes, maybe no. I kinda liked it your way, How you shyly placed your eyes on me, Did you ever know? That I had mine on you.
Darling so there you are, With that look on your face, As if you're never hurt, As if you're never down, Shall I be the one for you? Who pinches you softly but sure, If frown is shown then I will know that you are no dreamer.
So let me come to you, Close as I wanna be, Close enough for me, To feel your heart beating fast, And stay there as whisper, How I loved your peaceful eyes on me, Did you ever know? That I had mine on you.
Darling so share with me, Your love if you have enough, Or tears if you're holding back, Or pain if that's what it is, How can I let you know? I'm more than the dress and the voice, Just reach me out then, You will know that you are not dreaming
i've got a throat thats so damn pain now. and its not the typical sore throat. anyone can guess what happened after the post yesterday.
i've turned to paper and pen. but i will still update here daily. just lesser emo stuff. i hope.
[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 08:44 ]
♥ Monday 14 January 2008.
Daily Propehts.
> <
aish. i managed to resist blogging yest. but i came online. let me see.
today. woke up rather early. started to clean my room. omg. i nv realised that my room was so dusty ok. just wiping my wardrobe top made the pail of water from clear to grey. omg. it was the same for my desk, my bookshelve, my bag table. and i felt like a aunty walking ard. gggm. so.. now my room is!
omg. i feel so proud of myself. i shall not step into my room so often, so as to maintain it. as if.
after cleaning for like 3 hrs. lunched. went to bugis for shopping with bro and mummy. and i finally wore my green tunic bought ages ago. yay.
i still think i should get my legging. haha. shopshopshop. nothing much. bought bedsheets? and YH bra! =p i saw the DP white skirt! in MY size. and.. mummy don allow me to buy white skirt!!! =(((( and i didn get to eat the fries at the basement of PARCO. i heard its nice. =X shall go there another day. and i find pencil case designs nowadays so ewwws. so dear, i still haven found one for the gay. i'll cont finding. came home. dinner. came online. write final reflections for trip. send dear photos. talk to love. psycho nightmare to un-emo
YEST! woke up early. to go to sch for meeting. somehow. felt a lil left out la. won be able to join in their activities due to work. intended to buy cheese waffle and walk home. then jac came and walked with me. so i bu hao yi si buy waffle. so ended buy buying the cheese round pancake from mr bean at interchange. its my breakfast at 12pm. came home. started dl-ing songs. and i was late in meeting dear. omg. so sorry dear. dear trained to bedok to wait for me! =) so i met dear and we trained to DOVER! the train ride felt short lor. maybe coz we were talking all the while. yay dear! then sp open hse. nothing much la. i'm feeling scared abt sch alrd. biomed sc. 80/batch. 20/cardiac option the option i'm interested in. best further studies option = overseas. omg can. how on earth will i find the $$ to go overseas to study!? meaning i need to get scholarship = super hard work!!! D.I.E! arghs. nvm after open hse. we went to MS for nasi ayam! and its NICEEEEE!! heee. thanks dear! after MS, we trained to TAMPINES to shop. went to MONDO. but cnt find heels that dear likes. shall go find somemore okiex dear! =)) then shop ard. went to BHG to try on some clothes. and camwhore! yay!
we had our own clothes on. coz the clothes we tried. cmi laa. thenn.. to MANGO! and camwhore in the fitting room yet again!
the blouse is super nice ok! BUT its like 50odd bucks! super ex!! =((
headed to CITY PLAZA after that. to.. satisfy my cravings for.. ICE KACHANG!! ARNOLD'S ICE KACHANG to be exact. i miss the red bean paste. so we da bao-ed and sat at the massage chair there to eat! and dear walked me to the busstop so i can bus home! yay! so thats sat. and here's dear!! =DDDDD
I LOVE DEAR MANYMANYMANY!!
i told dear alot abt him and other stuff. and i thought alot too. sometimes its just isn worth to be sad/angry/hating someone who doesn deserve it. they won't thank you for being affected by them or anything. what for wait for his msges everyday when i know they won't come. must as well i spend my time thinking of how to cheer my friends on. what for get pissed by a certain person who doesn even f***ing care about you. you know. all these things are uncalled for. they only mess up your life which only you and only you is incharge of. so i've decided to care and feel for those ppl who deserve my care and concern and all! yes.
my comp screwed me todayyest. it hanged like nobody's business. giving me alot of time to think alot. damn.
alrittes. tmllater have to wake up super early to go sch for yunnan meeting. i took like half an hr to look for my sch skirt. i dunno how i'm gging to feel gging back tmllater.
BUT after that gging to meet DEAR! yay DEAR!!
i just finish dl-ing somemore songs. tried to group my songs to no avail. shall do it some other day.
and my neck got those red patches again my zi lian photos todayyest damn ugly can. urghs! lazy to post too
i've been looking at bags online again gging to get somemore. muahaha.
i decided.. to skip moosic lesson to go for yunnan meeting tml so i'm telling my teacher that i gotta work. sianns. then i'm meeting dear to go sp! =DD thats the only thing i'm really looking forward to tml.
yay. speaking of dear. i had a nice nice convo with her on frdster yest! yay dear. 44444444. =p=p=p
it went unanswered again. but hell la.
SAY NO TO EMO!
[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 08:53 ]
♥ Thursday 10 January 2008.
Daily Propehts.
> <
jan 10 2008 is a lovely day yay =D
2008.01.10 is good hair day yayyay =)
10 jan 2008 is no-tears day yayyayyay XD
i guess last night really kept my spirits up today. yay. thanks to youknowwho =)
and today. my hair behaved well enough to allow me to let it down. but it gave way to my itchy hands to touch touch touch and discover all the split ends again. omggg. and they're gone now! haha. i trimmed my ends again. and i think my right side is shorter than my left side now. =x
mummy's gonna let me go clara's hairdresser to cut my hair soon yay. its no wonder why i get to cut my hair once a yr only. conpared to twice last time. i dunno how to cut it lehhs.. any ideassss?
and work today. haha. slack. coz the comp hanged like dunno-how-many times. hee and i find the CSE ricky's voice damn nice to listen to laa.. and listening to the radio while working makes ppl think i'm crazy coz i keep laughing to myself.
and i had love to msg me thruout. yay tc love
i cnt wait for sat afternoon. muahahaha. dear! on bo?
randomm.. i heard on 933 that laughing hard 100 times a day is equals to like 15 mins of biking.. haha =p and i finally hit that sacred number on the scale. need to jia you! woo~ and yay! horoscope again..
i ended up at the com till almost 1am yest. chatting with love and desmondngyouze. yay.
and i shall be happy today! and everyday. i hope i can. coz i was asked to say NO to EMO. muahaha.. cute guy la..
and take care love!!
i think my mum think that i am a poly tour guide or open house baby sitter. first she ask me to ask jie along with me to the open hse. then she ask me to ask my neighbour along. omggg la. i'm like gging with my dearest dear can!! won't i like leng luo my neighbour? thats the main thing why i totally dislike going out in a total whole big grp. haha. whatever.
i need to practice my piano for a mo. and prepare to go for work!
yay! i love dear.=))) i love love.=))) i love youknowwho.=)))
i somehow keep talking to laoshi these few days. muahaha. its quite fun thou.
and work today.. i slacked yet again. and it was sadsad. my phone ran out of batt. so i didn have music to accom. me and i was waiting for his sms. thou it nv came. there were a few times when i was yawning. and normally when i yawn, i tear. and those few times. when i yawned. i felt like crying real hard.
i want to go back to school!! i hate to be alone.. in the stupid cramped place. facing the comp 8 hrs everyday.. i somehow cnt wait for the expo sale to come. at least i can earn $$ w/o staring at the comp screen. and i can see him.
some random stuff.. i was stoning while waiting for the documents to be scanned. then i had a sudden urge to drink. =x lame and random. but yea. there felt like this demon inside me. like i was telling loser. i could have succumbed to smoking if someone had tempted me at that time. think i'm gging through that super rebellious stage sia..
bahaha. i cnt wait for yr end man.. really.. then i can go clubbing like nuts. grrr.
yay la. tml gging to be me and me the only scannist ard. so happy can. wont have that pressure there. i've been bringing lunch to work. so i wont need to have lunch with him. yay! (:
oh yaa..i've been getting like phone calls from unfamiliar and private numbers nowadays laa. damn freaking irritating. i got one again today. private number. i thot it was haoning prank-calling me. so i like said "go and die" in chi. but the person kept talking. then i heard something like you prefer something something.. in chi. then i was like hello. then the person ask me if i speak chi and i hung up on her. stupid chinese woman. and i just another missed call from unfamiliar number again. damn. wonder how those ppl get my number.
and i want to meet dear sooonnn!! satsatsatsatsatsatsat. i cnt wait to go sp open hse. and nyp's too!
i fell asleep at like 10pm last night. before which i was talking to love and lao shi. and i'm permanently labelled by lao shi as emo as usual.
and i totally regretted sleeping so early. thou i was totally tired. coz he tried to call. and twice. and i was a dead logggg! until i auto-ed at 3am. after which i tried to go back to slp but cld only dream of all weird things. rawrs.
but at least it gonna be a nice day again today.. i hope..
yay. before i go. i got this from jiafa(933deejay)'s blog.
i was really slack at work todayy. super. i.. slept while waiting for the papers to be scanned. flip through the documents really slowly. keep going to the toilet. my hourly count of documents decreased as the day passed.
light always come after darkness. the office toilet was my hide out today. it was really cold inside. so i kept going to the toilet to escape the cold. and also to camwhore.
and you were my light today.
and as i was slacking.. i suddenly saw this thing.
haha.. looks at a girl's name rite.. but its a guys' name lorr.. haha..
seee..
muahaha.. and i didn know noodles could drive..
haha..
but the light nv last too.
and i have this ugly scar on my foot. coz that day i was shifting the benches for the cadets and i let go of the bench before i could shift my leg away. and yay! the scar is there. and i've got a swollen thumb toe.
i almost broke down at work today. i just felt like crying so much. dunno for what. and i tore almost half of a document. dunno what happened also.
i looked at the whole stack of documents needed to be scanned. i think of the 3 boxes of documents that needs to be scanned by the end of this wk.
i look at my phone. i think of the msges sent.. and nv replied.
i look at myself in the reflection of the comp. i think that i'm just a total failure and a total wreck.
i look at the scanner scanning and my tears just swelled up in my eyes.
i look around and i rub my tears away.
i dunno what's happening to me. seriously. work no longer provides the escapade i used to seek. not to mention i've got a new colleague at work with the same name as.... i hate working now. really dread it. i want to go back to school badly. back to twelve or 4b. where i've got my girlfriends to talk to. be it love, mama, lilin, dear, or even hayden. i want sch life back.
sometimes i really think i have real high expectations of my friends. esp close friends. esp confidantes. but often. they malfunction. and i really feel like total trash. only dear will reply my msges almost instantly. and sometimes. i totally feel so much more at ease talking to dear than anyone else. thou alot of things. only love and lilin knows. maybe its just me and only me that has a problem.
i somehow feel that every part of me is so sad-2007 i really want to change every part of me. including my attitude. my character. my hair. my specs. my body. my room. my clothes. everything. everything reminds me of everything of the worst year of 2007. sucks totally. i have half a mind to just snip my hair off by myself. tye my hair into a ponytail and snip it off.
and its super dark monday blues today. tml will be super dark tuesday.
saturday i woke up at like 8+. phoned haoning and rushed down to tk. saw my ex-unit and i felt real sad la. their standard quite bad. quite boring. but i had my lovely juniors to talk to me. then i went for music lesson. quite bad. cldn concentrate. after lesson, went back to tk to wait for weifang. after the thing ended, walked to dunman food centre to get lunch. bussed back with her. after lunch, tuitioned bro, and he lent me his psp to play. yay mann.. and i realisedthat my bro actually is smart lor. he's just lazy like me. muahaha. dinner was at that jap place that i went with the squad the other day. the food standard drop alrd la. then after dinner went to tm popular to get assesment books for bro. homed. teevee. slp.
sunday woke up rather early. breakfast. read newspaper. slack. lunch. practise piano. tuition bro. play psp. watch teeve. come online. dinner. stay online. still online. today was quite ok. really. my old phone finally received some msg again.. thank you(: cnt wait for that wkend to come. and i found something today. bahhss.
oh yes! anyone wants to pei me to sp open hse. this coming sat!? i don want to go alone lehhs..
tml will be the start of the daily boring routine again. sighs.
no song today. feeling so sianned. and all funny inside me.
i miss dear's tagging alrd.. dear faster finish exam laa.. hee. jia you dear!
haha.. looks at a girl's name rite.. but its a guys' name lorr.. haha.. 
