It means mugging my ass off. It means NO LIFE!!

It means friends going overseas and leaving me alone. HAONING!!! Haha. She left for HK for shopping. She better get nice stuff back for me!! =P

Met her for awhile this afternoon. While I was walking back to the MRT station from airport. Her father is nice lorhs. Wanted to treat me lunch. THANK YOU!! :) I am so going to miss her. No one to mug with me for the moment!!

Went out to study with HAYDEN today. And someone else. It was akward. WHATEVER. did maths and physics! :) left about 12+.

Trained home. Finished off physics. Napped.

Went back to airport to send EUGENIA off. WEIQI cried. And made me want to cry too. Her ACJ friends were there too. Sighs. I guess I nv treasured the times with her enough. Now, I MISS EUGENIA, my jie fu!!

She gave each of us a letter and our photo we took on sat, 26 may. read the letter on my way home, and cried. Stoned the whole way back. Luckily I had stupid lamer to entertain me.

sometimes just a msg is not enough to try to rescue that friendship. Some friendships may be easy to revert to its original status, but some are not. And this is not. I guess in this, its close to impossible. THANK YOU COZ YOU SCREWED MY LIFE WHEN YOU DECIDED TO STEP INTO IT. and in this, sincerity is no longer the key. And even sincerity is not present. I guess its GOODBYE

I realized something today.

some GOODBYES are easy to say, while some, JUST REFUSES TO COME OUT.

Some photos.

The star that I took from GUITAR CONCERT.

Me and LOVE

Me in MEMI s specs

My necklace. Lols. Clara has a similar one with her initials. =)

To end off,

I MISS EUGENIA

I am such a piggie.

It’s the holidays and I am supposed to STUDY!! but I slacked my time away today. Read through my storybook until I feel asleep. Sians. Did not go swimming also. Haix.

BUT, I did my work yesterday. Went to school for maths. Then music class was laughing class. laughed a lot. She passed my C piece!! woohoo!! A piece almost done too!! =)))

Studying at airport was quite productive. But I did not manage to complete 1 ws. But good start. =)

CLARA left for KOREA yesterday night. I told myself not to cry, but I did. Even before I saw her, I knew I was going to cry. So I reminded myself time and again not to cry. But when she was with her friends, she kept looking over to me and my aunt. She was scared. And when she was about to enter the gate, she hugged us. she did not feel like leaving. I know her too well. When she went inside, waiting for her passport to be checked, she looked back at least 3 times. I could not hold back, and I cried. She has never gone overseas without us before. 8DAYS without her. =( I didn want my aunt and grandma to see that I was crying, so I wiped my tears away before talking to them. HaoNing said it was obvious I was crying. Oh whatever. I MISS CLARA!!!

you tried, and I did not bother to listen. Because I think it is screwed as it is now. If you think I do not believe you, then fuck offget lost. I will not bother to defend myself because I think you are simply over-sensitive. you can carry on thinking about what you think I think. Because I simple do not care. you control your own pea brain and like you said, I cannot convince you to change your own thinking. So go on thinking that way for all you want.

And I strongly believe that my world is filled with people who simply UNDERSTANDS and TRUSTS me. My friends are my life. And one significant missing piece will cause a HUGE upset. but if you decide to leave please go. Do not make my life a more screwed up one. If you decide to stay, simply do not try to screw my life further. NO TRUST = NO MORE.

l ii n g

i love my cousins.<3

Finally blogging after 3 days of full-day activities.

Thursday

Ponned morning inter-pdp games. coz I did not bring back my Chinese ws the day before, thus have to do it at home in the morning. Got LOVE to take it for me in the morning. Hehx. Slacked at home till afternoon, when I rushed to pack my bag for overnight at school. but I did not get to finish packing my bag, coz LIYONG msged me to tell me that we only need to report to sch at 9pm. yay! Rushed out to meet FAU for lunch, handed on Chinese ws and went home to sleep and slack.

Overnight was rather boring. me, liyong, di hui, joan were sitting at the Temasek square stoning. Chatted. Waited for di hui to finish bathing before we went up to hall. then blah blah. We had movies. step up and she’s the man. sian. Coz I watched both before alrd. Hehx. Mainly overnight was sleeping. Haha. Nothing much. Except it was freaking cold. Very very cold. di hui was very nice and caring lor. He came to boo me and asked me if I was ok. When I told him I was super cold, he volunteered to look for another jacket for me. When he couldn find, he came back, asked me to sleep under the aircon, beside the door. He even used a chair to block the door so no one can come in from there, so that I can sleep there! NICE NICE LAMER DI HUI! =p he may be a bully, but he is nice lehhs.

Friday

Left school at 6am to go home bathe. Quite stupid coz I brought my clothes to bathe in school. =P rushed around and dad sent me to school. Supposedly to do stall duty, but ended up doing FIRST AID DUTY!! yay!! i love FAD lor. =) was paired with fang yun, liyong, joan. nice nice. Sat in the middle of the pavement and chatted. went back to school, did somemore first aid duty. LOVE sat with me halfway. And she said I looked reluctant to serve ppl. Hmm. I will change it! Opps. LOVE came to my house to bathe before we went back to school for transport to HOUGANG SUPERBOWL for elective. We wore this super, duper BIG purple BOND shirt that JOSHUA FORCED us to buy! Haha.

I didn bowl well on Friday. No arms straight. No bowl forward. Everything was longkang. Damnit. But slowly I got into momentum and I managed to do better. But the score still suck! Im so gging to bowl!! With gang! =) met up with yinling and chuying for dinner opposite tj for dinner before going for AURORA XI – TJ GUITAR CONCERT. quite interesting, but boring also. Went back to hawker center for supper with DEAR and others. reached home at 12am. woah. Would have been later if not for zong wanting to cab back.

Saturday

Rushed around to prepare to meet yiting, Eugenia, weiqi at orchard. lunched at PEPPER LUNCH. decided to watch BLADES OF GLORY. it’s a LOVELY show! Rather vulgar and lame larhhs. Haha. Practically laughing throughout!! Being bored, we walked aimlessly around HERREN which was quite boring. Thus we wrecked havoc in this specs shop. Trying all different weird specs. Didn take any photos. In case the shop keepers kill us. Left them at 6. not before taking photo with Eugenia and group photo.

Oh ya! Eugenia is going back to indo on THRUS. having camp lehhs. Hopefully can get some time out so I can send her off. I am going to MISS EUGENIA!!!!

Trained to TOA PAYOH to wait for dad to pick me for family dinner. was too early. Walked around TOA PAYOH HUB. saw so many lovely clothes there. Cheap somemore. I am so going back there one day! =) pictures from aunt’s hse, where we went for cake!

Going to study with BF tml. At airport. Hopefully NO MORE COINCIDENCES. yucks.

Sending clara off tml. She’s going to korea! :)

COINCIDENCES DO NOT OCCUR COINCIDENTALLY SOMETIMES

* I hate you, faker

I lied to parents today.

Just to get excuse from school tomorrow morning.

I told them that I would not be involved in anything tomorrow during sports carnival tml moring.

And they agreed.

Omg la. Since when did they become so nice.

But I still have to wake up early tml

Coz I FORGOT to take my chi paper from miss koh’s letter slot

And I am supposed to hand it in tml.

So I am gging to sch early to get it from LOVE who will help me take from the letter slot.

Sighs. I cross my fingers that she won take it away from there. Please please please..

But I am going back to school in the afternoon. To do first aid duty.

I am loving first aid duty now kkay.

Got irritating DI HUI

Who loves to disturb me and Liyong.

Yucks. Bad guy.

He calls me paper tiger no 2

So bad can.

And I am staying overnight in school tml!!

Bonding with the unit!

Cool!

It will be duper lame again laa

With that lamer there.

Haha.

I shall go sleep

Have to wake up super early to get my stuff tml

Grrrghs.

Sometimes being sick is LOVE

I finally get to hear “go get dinner for your sister” instead of “go get dinner for your brother” haha. I get to be waited on by my brother. * twists * =P

But the LOVE ends here. Nothing else goes well when you are sick.

In school, you cannot blow your nose for god sake. Because when you do, people look at you like you are an elephant. Not my fault la.

In lessons, you cannot pay proper attention and feel guilty when you sleep in lessons.

When you go back early, you have to worry about the things you miss out in sch. Like the stupid Chinese test, which they say in difficult.

When you go back early, you are not exempted from doing your chores.

When you are sick, your parents do not even ask if you are feeling better.

When you are sick, you get scolded for being sick.

When you are sick, you get criticized by your parents saying that you get sick for nothing.

Ohh. Thank you to that whoever who passed the flu bug to me. Coz now I feel like shit. Esp after what my mum said yesterday. I cried to sleep. Thank you. I cnt even rmb the last time I tried as hard as I did yest nite. Because I cried till I was left with no tears to cry. Thank you mum. For insulting me.

I seriously do not know why I cried yest. I mean she always criticize me, but I nv cried before. Yet I cried yest. I guess it was fueled by thinking of him again. Yes again. fuck.

I wanted to pon school today, but I could not think of a way to pon, so I went to sch, and suffered in sch. I had almost no voice to talk. I just felt so grumpy.

I LOVE DEAR. thanks for the msg DEAR. And loser too!

I feel like an idiot. Once and again, I keep emoing over him. I keep thinking about him. and it does not help, when someone tells me that another person likes her but she doesn like him. I felt so screwed when I heard that.

I hate being sick. Being sick gives me the excuse to skip lessons. I am back early once again, on a long tutorial day. I should really slap myself. For being such a slacker. I just want to go shopping. Throw all my stupid thoughts away. I want to go bowling. I want to stay over in school on thrus nite. I just need a night away from home.

* because when I chose to leave, I never thought that it would come back to me *

I think I have been sleeping too much in class. Jeanette even asked me if I sleep late everyday. Well, I do. Because I am always stuck in front of the computer, doing nothing. I think I really have to change this bad habit. I have to spend more time in front of my books. Haha.

Lunch yesterday was fun. LiLin and I met at Parkway to get birthday boy hayden his present. Got him a shirt and a voodoo doll. Hope it really helps him in his studies, the mugger. Haha. Oh ya! We met JINGXUAN!!! like surprising. I have not seen her for eons. Haha. Then, both of us bussed down to bugis and we talked a lot on the bus. Not emo stuff, talked about pw. Stupid group members. =P

We were early, so we went to Macs, bought a drink sat at Macs and chatted again. This time talked about KY and random stuff also. Walked to MRT to wait for hayden and DEAR. we did not see DEAR standing there, and so we waited at the corridor instead of the control station there. Hayden said he would be late, so I msged DEAR to see if she reached already. And when we saw her, we learned that she had been there for like an hour plus. Oh my. I am sorry DEAR.

So we 3 girls walked around, looking for a place to sit and talk. But Macs was full. So we went to look at what to eat. Hehx. I had cravings for SEOUL GARDEN, so we settled for that. We walk her walk there, in the end, we sat outside pastamania there, waiting for hayden.

Anw, I have to apologise to hayden and LiLin. Sorry to have you two eat so ex stuff just because of my cravings. Its was like $22.80 per person. Opps. That is like more than my one week of savings. Sighs.

And I dare say me and DEAR ate like lots!! Really. I LOVE DEAR!! I do not feel like I am eating a lot when I am with DEAR. And DEAR is caring lor. Keep taking food for us! =D

Ate for like 1 hour plus den us 3 girls went to BUGIS STREET to shop, while the birthday mugger, went to NLB. Ai yo hayden!

We practically combed the whole bugis village! I saw so many things that caught my eye! I want to buy!! I feel like buying everything there!! I shall pull mum there one day, buy heels, tops, skirts, bags!! I WANT MONEY!!!

I still cannot find my halter top. ANYONE WHO KNOWS WHERE TO GET BASIC HALTER TOPS CHEAP, please tell me! I am desperately in need of one!! Haha.

LiLin had to leave after that, so me and DEAR left bugis for BEDOK. we went to THIS FASHION, trying to find my halter and DEAR’s shorts. Could not find any. DEAR was desperate to buy something, so we walked around somemore, and found this shop selling super cheap clothes. Saw my halter, but cannot try, so I did not buy. As we walked out, DEAR caught sight of this blouse. We thought for a very long time, before deciding to buy after my persuading! Haha. * DEAR! I am sure you will look good in it ok! *

Sent DEAR to MRT station then I took a bus home. I shall go DEAR’s house there one day to find my clothes!! =))

Still sick.

Anyway HAYDEN NG SIU HEI!! PLEASE eat more. I am begging you ok! You are freaking thin!! stop mugging your ass off. I am being bad, but you should really eat more! I LOVE HAYDEN!! mug soon!

Holis coming soon!! Yayness!! Its gonna be mugging sessions. Window shopping, chats. Gym with DEAR!

-update-

I just realized that I left something out just now. Me and LiLin were talking about the future of TKRCY yesterday. Somehow, both of us have this very bad feeling about TKRCY. Sighs. I really don know. Reinaldo sir and our batch brought the unit up, and the sec 4s kept it there. But it seems like the sec 3s still lack confidence of keeping the standard. They still seem aloof although I somehow can feel the pressure they feel from all the proposal writing. I still feel that none of them gives me the FEEL of keeping TKRCY up there. None of them seem like a TKRCY chair to me. To me, they still feel like the sec 1s I used to take. Jestin sherlyn wenxin are going for ULP. Can sense jestin is a little reluctant. Sighs. I really still want TKRCY to soar. I guess I have to believe they can do it! =X I guess all I can do is trust them and go back when there is no LEO.

Hopingly, I leave my smile behind =) DEAR rawks!

I do not want to talk about school.

School is a PAIN IN THE ASS.

I HATE school.

I do not want to go to school!!

Went back to tk today. I regret going back. Because now, I feel like going back every training. I love my juniors, especially my sec 3s and sec 1s. I was with them for 3 years. I feel attached to them. It pains to see them suffering. I know I should help them, but I guess I am not in any position. I am not a VI. Sighs. Their proposal is really not up to standard. I do not know how to help them. I want them to go further, soar higher. and by helping miss sri with uniform stuff, I got quite close to my sec 1s. They are like so cute and energetic. All the funny comments they make about the uniform. All the weird ways they try on their berets. They even remember me, some of them. =)

I AM SO GOING FOR THEIR CAMP!! ex-tkrcy-ians!! 20^th – 22^nd JUNE!! Come down to play! =) actually I am going there to study. Haha.

I did not get to talk much with my mama today. She was busy. I did not get to hug her. She has grown thinner, and prettier!! I LOVE MAMA!! and now I got some other means to talk to her without meeting her!! Yipppeess!!!

Whats more, tkrcy camp and np camp will be conducted on the same days!! Which means, PIZZA and LATE NIGHT TALKS!! yayness! Imagine, me, mama, lilin, maybe nana!! It brings a gigantic smile to my face!! I went crazy when I heard that lor!! =DDDD

Going out tomorrow, with LiLin, Hayden, Dear, Mai. =) happy! But I am currently low on cash la. That fbt jersey, today, the whole class bought the Cambodia ocip shirt. Which means I spent $24 on tops this week, and those tops cannot even be worn out. Oh man.

I am falling sick lor. Got flu. Feel so restless. But I still wanna go out tomorrow.

I guess I shall go rest now.

Oh ya, before I go,

I love my fellow makan girl.

Taken last year, last day of school. I look ugly, most important person there is changling!! =))

loves

It is like 17 May 2007, 01.02 am as I am typing this post.. and I am still online.

I just completed my fucking GPP. It was supposed to be handed in yesterday, but due to some stubborn freak guy, I have to re-do part of it. And the greatest thing is that, he sent me HALF OF EACH DRAFT. like THANK YOU.

Actually, I did what I was supposed to re-do by 12.15am, and I tried to type in the names and stuff. Yeah. Act smart. And the whole template went BONKERS. everything overlapped here and there. FUCK. I had to figure out which was which can copy and paste the whole thing into a new file again. Damn. And was I was checking, I realized that feasibility and manageability in my soft copy was totally different from my hard copy. Because he sent half of each. stupid. I swear I was about to cry already. Like I am already exhausted by all the stuff left undone, to be handed in. and some people just refuse to cooperate. I feel like swearing at them in class. And finally I am done. I had to psycho myself to go on and concentrate by listening to WO KE YI BY EVAN YO. sighs.

I feel like a failure who cannot do anything for the group. C has been always doing all the stuff, refusing to let us do, and doing the stuff wrongly. I feel like strangling him!! I thought our group would be quite a nice group, BUT, C has to snatch to do everything and leave the super wrong loose ends for us to tie. And Samuel has to leave us and make space for a asshole to come in and not do work. Even feli was not at PW yesterday, which was one of the most stressed lesson. Official work file checking is like later and they do not even bother to ask if they can help. Wtf.

School has been emo, gang has been emo. I have been relying on yuen and LOVE for support. Especially yuen. Have been talking to her a lot these 2 days and I really feel much better. I do not want to see LOVE sad. Coz I feel hurt. I feel useless. I do not feel me. I do not like school.

On a lighter and happier side, I finally ordered my FBT sleeveless jersey! =) after like 2 weeks of thinking. Haha. And I AM GOING BACK TO TK ON FRI!! I cannot wait to see MDM ONG, MRS CHEE, MISS SRI, and most importantly, BF HAONING. I miss them so much.

I have decided to go out with my friends to study during the june holis. And I am planning to don my lovely TK UNIFORM and step into TK and study in the canteen and library, or even the staff room. I just need someone to study with me, give me motivation, keep me away from distractions. I really need to work hard.

I better go. Its 1.17am now, and I still have to attempt benzene tutorial. luckily its lecture day later on in school.

* I love my new blog song. It’s the chorus that attracted me *

I found my smiling eyes only when I left you.

I was in a ‘i-am-pissed-and-emo-mood-but-happy-things-did-happen- mood yesterday

SADLY, it started yesterday morning, 12.45am, when I was packing my stuff for swimming. I could not find my shampoo. I could not find my goggles. I was tired ENOUGH already, so I decided not to swim. I was pissed because we were told last week that you had to swim 16 laps yesterday, and I was so looking forward to it. Never mind.

SADLY, when I got into bed, I could not sleep at all. Despite the music playing in my ears, I just could not sleep. Despite hugging my pikachu, I just could not sleep. Despite hiding under my blanket, I just could not sleep. Those thoughts just kept churning and turning in my head. I think by the time I slept, it was already 2 plus. sighs.

SADLY, I woke up late yesterday morning. There was no brother to make noise to wake me up. He was at gram’s house. And my glasses were on the floor. Almost stepped on them. shit. was way late when I finished bathing. Then it started raining, but I still had to report to swimming pool.

HAPPILY, dad volunteered to send me to swimming complex as he did not need to send brother to school. And dad dropped me at the busstop where I met ELI LOVE, who was stranded without an umbrella.

HAPPILY, we walked to the swimming complex with my small umbrella. The rain was HUGE. even with my umbrella, our backs, sides were wet, drenched. When we walked, our skirts were like sticking to our butts. Haha. But it was FUN!!! it was cold and both of us were like screaming all the ways. laughing all the way. Haha. It made me appreciate that special moment. how much I miss walking in the rain!! =)

HAPPILY after being dismissed, MELOVEMAMAYUENFELI went to the coffeeshop to have breakfast. Me & love had couple meal. Haha. Eggs + toast + tea. Its was so funny, because firstly, I just could not crack the egg properly. I was laughing at myself while trying, and everyone started laughing too. Then, I was day-dreaming a little, so I used my spoon to scoop the other egg out of the container. Blur me out my spoon back into the container when I was supposed to use it to eat my own egg. And I went all blur as to which was my spoon and where it was. It was just a NICE AND HOMELY BREAKFAST.

HAPPILY, MEMAMALOVEYUEN ponned maths lecture. They wanted to change out of their swimming costumes and we were already late, so we decided to pon the lecture. And guess where we sat!? OUTSIDE THE STAFF ROOM!! haha. It seemed safe as there were 2 J2s there too. And we saw 2 of our teachers and they did not really see us I think.

PISSING maths. The class wanted the teacher to print answers for the tutorials as she was merely going through the whole tutorial without letting us digest and understand. Then she was arguing about this and that. Then everything was ok already, BUT, that ASSHOLE guy had to bring it up again. As I was already pissed, I shouted at him, telling him to shut up and use the time to copy instead of wasting time arguing. The guys started going “WA” again. Ha. Love called me CHILLI PADI. Actually, if it was someone else, I would not have shouted, but it was asshole guy, so I shouted. Ha

But HAPPILY, I passed MATHS LECTURE TEST!!! finally a pass!! =)

Econs case study test was relatively ok. Did not manage to finish but I think I did better than the last one! =)

Lunch was EMO. MEMI was crying because she was stressed and tired. Everyone was quiet. I dare not console her. I was afraid I would make things worse, with my hatreddislike for JC life at the moment. Sighs. It felt so weird. And with no one talking, I slipped into emo mood again.

Chemistry was ok. Me and yuen were trying to use whiteboard marker to draw on the glass panels around the seminar room. FUN!!

GP was PISSING. the teacher was being a total BITCH. She acted smart and said some things which I thought was very arrogant. WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT FROM. I CANNOT BELIEVE NONE OF YOU CAN GET THIS CORRECT. its so hurting can. I do not like her. Yuen does not too. She is arrogant. She is gossipy. She gossips and then shows dislike when we gossip among ourselves. Yucks.

Physics was THERAPIC. I was chatting with yuen the whole time. Told her lots of things, including him. haha. I felt emo after that, but much better.

Home was EMO AND PISSED. do not feel like going on about it here.

I am glad for my friends who made my day! =) and LiLin for tagging! =)

I realize that I am purely talking about my life here. I should get a new style of blogging. Haha.

And I realize that I typed this whole post in proper English I think. =P

Countdown to Saturday : 4days

no one is worth your tears. The one who is, will not make you cry

I should be happy that I have a WONDERFUL family.

I should be glad that I have got WONDERFUL friends around me, esp LiLin and LOVE.

I had a heart to heart talk to LOVE yest. And I found out some things, which actually make me appreciate the family I have now.

Oh LOVE, I believe you can get over it okiex. You’re a strong girl. You have got EYEgang. you have got me. And I have got you! =)

I msged LiLin and talked to her online. I realized that it has been eons since I had a heart to heart talk and pour out everything in my heart. We used to do that EVER SO OFTEN.i miss those times. I WANT THOSE TIMES BACK!! although I feel as if I got nothing to tell her, but I guess deep down, there’s lots I want to tell her. And I know she has too! I just want those simple times when we can just sit in class and talk. Hold hands and walk. I just want to meet her and talk talk talk. Just enjoy those simple times back then. i just want to go back for trg with her, talk and laugh with our lovely cadets. Ha.

I TRIED to do my tutorials just now, but I just could not concentrate. I take my tutorial out, do a qtn or two, and I just cnt continue doing. I cannot bring myself to do it anymore. Its like a max. like I cannot take it anymore. My brain was not with me, not with my homework. I really need concentration now, but nothing will make me concentrate. Even maths is a chore to me. Nothing is of interest to me. I just want to lie in bed and sleep the time away. I want to sleep those distractions away. I want to sleep those scenes away. But the problem is, I CANNOT EVEN SLEEP. I have been having problems sleeping.

I detest myself for giving way to those thoughts. I detest myself for not forcing myself to study. I detest myself for everything I am doing now. I detest them BOTH for messing up my life. LiLin and loser will know who those 2 are.

I feel like banging on the piano. I feel like soaking myself in cold water. I feel like screaming. I feel like tearing all my tutorials away. I feel like killing my tutors and them both.

I just want my sec 4 life back. I just want mdm ong and LiLin by my side. I just want their huggs. I just want their smiles. I just want their assurance.

I feel weak without them. I feel useless without them. I feel like I have let them down. I feel like I have let my family down.

I cannot even control my own emotions. I cannot even control my own tears. I cannot even control my own brain.

I want Saturday to come quick. I want to see them again, I want to crap with them again. I want to step into somewhere where I can be myself. I want to step onto the lanes and let go of the ball, like I am letting go of my own emotions.

I LOVE LILIN! =)

I can never survive JC life till so far without her.

I love this pic and I am never tired of it. Coz I love my lovely friend.

Maybe time will heal our wounds girl. =)

I forgot to blog about a very important thing yest. Heex.

And while thinking about mothers’ day, my mind brought up MDM ONG to me. I know its weird. Mothers’ day I don talk about my mum, I talk about mdm ong.. but I really miss my TK mama, MDM ONG!!

What can I say. The only teacher to follow me through my 4 years in TK. The teacher who cared to chat with us. The teacher who cared to know whats happening to the gang. The teacher who was ever so caring.

I know some classmates don like her. They say she’s biased. That is coz they don noe her. She doesn open up to everyone lor. She’s the quiet kind, and will only show her true self to people she is real close to. Which is why the PSYCHOgang is so close to her. We talk to her. We make it a point to understand her. I noe classmates think she biased towards us. She seems nice to us. But she cares for the WHOLE CLASS.

I rmb getting pissed with the class for like discriminating her. They say she is not good..blah blah blah.. but I guess, its all over.

I MISS MDM ONG!!! I have been a very bad girl. I have not been going back regularly enough. I still want my ice-cream and pizza with her!! I want to take lots of photos with her for memory sake. I want to hug her again. I want to chat with her again.

And I really miss 4b.

Anw, HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY *belated* again. =))

Totally random post about some stuff that happened for the past few days.

Supposed to catch SPIDEY 3 with the guys from TWELVE07 on Friday. but I backed out last min coz I didn want to touch my savings. Hehx. SORRY GUYS. and I guess I don really regret..coz I haven been in the cinema for months and I don plan to go in near time..coz I AM GONNA SAVee!! Haha.

Ponned LEO on Friday also..

Ponned home visit on sat. haha. I didn feel like going. No one from my group was going. So no use. Somemore, disgusting girl was one of the organizers. Hehx.

Music lesson was good. She said I IMPROVED. yayness. After practicing everyday last week. =)

Went ahma hse yest nite. Saw this bag in the neighbourhood which was quite nice. But somehow, I didn feel like buying it. Hehx.

And had fun digging the flesh out of the coconut! Hehx.

Dad was driving past the army barracks yest. And suddenly, ambrose sir and khoo yu sir’s face popped up in my mind. And I started picturing them BOTAK!! haha.. after like half hr, I still could not get an image of them botak okiex.. I mean, they’re people with ‘a lot’ of hair, so imagining them botak is weird!! AHHAHAHA!!! Ohmy..

LiLin was laughing along with me la.. coz I couldn decipher why I did that, and her msges were like laughing together with me.*toot smile*

And we still dunno what to do and get for hayden and kat’s birthday!! *scratches head* ha. Hopefully we can think of something.. and hopefully dear can make it. She got trg, and we were thinking of celebrating in the afternoon..hmm..

There’s no makan outing this coming sat. actually I won mind. I can save money. =P

I AM GOING OUT WITH EUGENIA AND YITING NEXT NEXT SAT!!! yayyay!! Haa. have not seen both of them in like the longest time! =))

We are supposed to go out the whole day de lor. But I got family dinner at nite. Sighs. And I cnt miss family dinner. Nai nai bday dinner. Sighs. Sorry gfs. But I will enjoy myself! =D

Had so much laughs today during lunch with cousins. Funny la. Family joke. Haha.

Oh wells. Nothing else I guess.

My blog is getting boring.

Oh ya.

I was looking through my old e-mails and I found 2 e-mails which somehow brought back memories of ULP. Sighs.

First one is from poh boon sir. We are quite like strangers now. Opps.

I guess his care and concern for us is like wow. He’s a nice sir. I miss B2!!

2^nd one was from khoo yu sir.

Haha.i rmb it used to give me the motivation to move on. Give me the strength to carry on. Haha.

And this sentence

To think he taught me this, and he himself.. forget it girl. Its over! =))

Shant think anymore. I shall enjoy current life! =))

= the sky’s the limit. I want to fly =

I am so neutral today.

I listened for half the physics tutorial. Slept for the other half.

Physics lecture, listened, but somehow slipped into dreamland unknowingly for like a min. ha =P

Civics = sleeping time. Miss Elina had meeting again. 12/07 is like always left alone during civics.

PW = boring + pissing. Furry is sucky. GPP more or less DONE. left a few stuff need to add. =)

Contact time = more than HALF THE CLASS ponned to go eat. =P

HOUSE COMMITTEE intro RAWKED!!! most of the class was there! And we cheered like mad for KENNY. quite rare 12/07 so united.

FIRST AID was quite boring. Ha. Talked about fire drill stuff. Stupid Di Hui don wan let year 1s be at base. Grr. Then have to participate in the sports carnival games thingy. Wonder what liyong put me in la. Its either dogdeball or floorball. omg. Die. Den mite have to stay overnight. Ha.

FIRST AID CAMP!! 2D1N!! most likely first day will be at sentosa for bonding. Cool la!! Im quite looking forward to it. Hopefully it doesn clash with erhem. All the more I feel the urge to get my FBT SELVELESS JERSEY!! the E-Club is selling cheaper at $12. and somehow im tempted to get the ORANGE one. Heex. Den I can wear to sentosa!

In lieu with the sports carnival, the sch is holding some sports elective. And there’s BOWLING!!!! I went HIGH when I saw it!! Oh man!! I signed up for it. So did the rest of EYEgang, except jialin. Heex. Hopefully all of us can get in!! 80 vacancies only!! oh no!! I CNT WAIT TO STEP ONTO THE LANES AGAIN!! im waiting for that day to come!! heex. I dunno what alternatives to put. I was thinking of kayaking+canoeing or dragon-boating or water polo. ha. Mostly water sports!! But GIMME BOWLING!!!! I saw the selection criteria. “must be willing to learn to play for fun and leisure” I was thinking, I want to play seriously lor! Ha. Im gging BOWLING-CRAZY!!

during dinner, mum asked me to settle with NOKIA 6300 coz its quite cheap if she signs up for a plan. Ha. Den I will have the same phone as my mum. How cool can that be! Ha. Im still undecisive abt it lor. I dunno if I should wait for N76. but I also noe that I will not be able to get it when it comes out! Coz it will be too ex. And I will have to wait for yr-end, which I think I will not be able to survive till. Hehx. SHOULD I!??

I am wondering if I should go MJ on Friday to look for HAYDEN IN PERKAFE. I miss MJ. I want to look for ERIC KUA. ha. I want ice cream from perkafe. But there is no one to go back with me!! =( it will feel weird la.. furthermore, there is no TKRCY trg on fri. and I don feel like gging for LEO. So if I don go MJ, I will be a lonely soul on Friday! Sighs.

TML IS ACTUAL CHEMISTRY SPA!! I am freaked out! Shit! I am scared that I will break the pipette again. I am scared I do the wrong calculations!! I scared i will forget my precedures. I scared I will not get level 8 for skill B&C! I scared I will disappoint miss chan and mrs chee again.

Tml got PE. Its torture again.

Tml got OCIP meeting. Sian.

I better go study alrd! Fri got physics test! I cnt fail anymore!

- stepping onto the lanes once again =)

Yea. The yearly day is here again today. WORLD RED CROSS DAY!! Somehow, I miss wearing my full-u proudly, in the midst of all my friends! Somehow, thinking back now, I have never worn my full-u with pride before. I always dread to wear full-u last time. But now, I guess after I no longer get to wear it, I miss it, and I yearn to wear it with pride. And I have only worn my SWO rank once! I wanna wear it again!

Anw, HAPPY WORLD RED CROSS DAY!! Again. :)

Im disappointed with myself today. I slept in lecture, slept in tutorial, FAILED my chem. test again. Sighs. I noe miss chan is helping me, I noe bridget wants to help me, I won give up. I will still strive for chem.. =)

TKRCY June Camp most likely will be during 2^nd week of holis. I think it clashes with LEO Camp. i cross my fingers it doesn. But I will still go june camp, I want to see my lovely juniors, I want to see my sec 4s pass out, I want to torture them! Hehhx.

I dunno what else I got to say!

I miss TKRCY 0306. I wan the holis to come!! Sentosa!!

I miss tk.

I miss 4B.

The last time I prepared my uni. Im proud of it. Thou tat 8 badges mean nothing to some other red cross cadets, to me, its like my pride. I went through a lot to get them. And my rank, was through my sweat and tears, through the arduous journey of ULP! I guess ill always treasure this photo. As my badges are with the cadets now, my rank nestling in my box. Sighs. My memories.

Superficiality toot toot

Can I say that I am proud of myself today? Hehhs. Lemme see

1. I woke up early, and took a bus early
2. I was for once, earlier than zong yao when meeting him.
3. I managed to force myself to keep awake during lecture.
4. I paid attention to lecture.
5. I listened to the sucky maths relief teacher for tutorial.
6. I screwed my JCT CHINESE ORAL.
7. I did my work in chinese class, when others were chatting away.
8. I went home STRAIGHT after school.
9. I did not snack at home today.
10. I did NOT attitude miss Natasha for gp today
11. I did not laugh at NEO today.
12. I did NOT wonder in cyberspace when I reached home today.
13. I did my homework within 1 hr of reaching home. * I usually do my work 5 hrs after reaching home.*
14. I did my sit-ups, crunches, skipping today. =))
15. I took only HALF-AN-HR to bathe today. * I normally take an hr.*
16. I did my work during the time I usually use the comp.
17. I finished whatever homework I planned to finish. =P
18. I practiced a lil piano today.
19. I DID NOT EMO TODAY

Haha. Stupid stuff above. If only I can stay like that everyday. I WILL!! I want to go UNI!! The same UNI as LiLin, den we’ll become roomies!! Wee~ its so fun thinking abt it! It spurred me to do my work okiex..

Hehhs…actually I have thought out of 3 post-jc routes. Im well-planned, but I have never fulfilled any of my plans. Well.

First is to fulfil my wish of being a NYP student. Hehhs. I plan to take diagnostic imaging there. I think there is. Some ‘AFTER A-LVL’ course. Ai ya. Any course that required A-lvl. Which also includes physiology!! Cool!! That’s where I am heading to if I get FREAK-OUT LOW A-lvl results. Hehs

Second is the DENTISTRY course in NUS. My supposedly dream course. Supposedly wanted to take dental therapy in NYP, but I gave it up due to lack of further studies opportunities. Ha.

LAST & MOST EXCITEDLY!! = BIOMEDICAL SCIENCE + TRADITIONAL CHINESE MEDICINE DOUBLE DEGREE in NTU!! Heex. Its seems exciting! And it’s a 5 yr course. Cool.

I guess by listing my dream courses, HOPEFULLY, it’ll spur me own to STUDY HARD!! I will!!

ROOMIIIE LILIN, here I come!!

Hehhx. I shall go study physics now!

Love DEAR! Thank you DEAR! <3

What can I say?

i feel TOOT.

I can no longer do compre properly. I don feel like doing any tutorials. I don do any tutorials. Im LAZY!!. im SLACK!!.

I did like 4 compre questions for the whole day today. And read like 5 slides of thermal ppt. What a fruitful day!

I need motivation. I wan my STUDY GANG!! I want them to sit ard me. Ask me to study! I wan DEAR, HAYDEN, LILIN, KIMKIM. there is no one to push me now. Mum only nags. And it doesn do anything to me. My friends dont care if I do my work. They do not force me to do my work, like LILIN does.

I always spend my weekends emo-ing, sleeping, eating, using the comp. I think that is what I do EVERYDAY! im a useless student. I don deserve to be in TJ.

I want the hols to come quick. Then I can meet my STUDY gang to mug! This is getting onto my nerves. I know I must study, but I do not feel like studying.

I noe I love my class. But, when it comes to academic support, they are NO WHERE NEAR 4B!! ha. Im sorry.

I miss WEIFANG!! I can only communicate with her through friendster. Although she stays so near me. I miss the BUS RIDES! I miss the lil talks with her.

I shall go do my work. I wonder how much I can complete. Ha. Stupid pig I am.

I have to wake up early tml, coz zong wants to meet earlier. Grrr.

I MISS 4B!!!!

I guess toot me does not love him anymore. I don feel anything seeing him online!

Bubble better be proud of me. =P