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♥ Monday 30 April 2007.

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I AM HALF-ROASTED!!!

Thanks to first aid duty today lor. I was sitting at the edge of the table, and the sun was shining directly in. my senior asked me to move in, but I was lazy, and I didn feel the effect la. So I just sat there for a very long time. Maybe it was coz I was alrd constantly under the sun, I could not see that my left arm was sun-burnt. It was until when I accompanied LOVE to the sports complex gallery that I realized that my left arm was red. Not obvious, but obvious when you compare my left and right arm. Sad la. I have uneven tan now!

Sorta remind me of MMM day during Vincitore. I was sun-burnt too. But at least that was the whole arm and the face.

When I reached home, I realized that not only my arm was burnt, there was a burnt portion near my neck, a v-shaped red patch, thanks to the polo tee la.

Duty today was slack. I sat there. Watch watch watch. Stone stone stone. Tan tan tan. When ppl come ask for things, just take and give them. Sian la. Not many casualties. Den the planning wasn good la. Tk was so much better and organized. Ha.

And deep heat rub didn manage to cheer me up. The DHR was a lil diluted lehhs. Not nice to play with. Grrr..

Den after TF finals, half the class went for dinner at LJS at bedok. We like noised down the place la. So noisy. Haa. had COMBO 2 double fries. I was freaking full la. Haa. den went out, take grp photo, den separated. Me, LOVE, feli, mama, went to walk ard, den found this stationery shop which I didn noe existed. Checked prices for PW. Den went to the playgrd near library to play and take photos. There was these 2 siblings. So cute can. The girl wanted to take photo la! Haa.

Den after that, tired, went home. Walking to interchange made me have the craving for sugarcane juice. So me and LOVE went to buy a cup and share. Ohmy LOVE!. Haa. so full la. Took bus home, bathed and here I am! Haa..

This post is lame! I shall post the pics another day when I finish editing them! Haa.

1 pic before I go cmug.

Me and dear last mth! I love DEAR!=))

♥ Sunday 29 April 2007.

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i

want my Samsung Q30 Plus laptop!! It looks yummy!!

And I want my Nokia N76!! In Red!!

And I want my Sony Cybershot T100! In Red!

Im addicted to red. Haa.

I joked with mummy yest that if she gets me a laptop, I won demand for a handphone. But I noe I won stop there. I will demand for my handphone! Haa.. this is sad.

The rest is random.

- I feel that she has changed. I don want her to change.

- Tml got class dinner!

- Tml got duty!

- Tues no one pei me study lehhs.

- I need someone to teach me chem. Bonding!

- I don’t want to fail chem. Anymore!

- I got a busy week ahead.

- clara is going to korea on 28 may.

- no cousin to talk to me.

- I got to design some badge and t-shirt for OCIP

- I got no inspiration.

- I got OCIP meeting on thrus.

- I have to miss FAU on wed. I don’t wan!

- I miss DEAR!

- I want LOVE!

- I wan mama ong and her hugs.

- I wan ULP days.

- I wan TKRCY days!

- I wan 4B days!

- im feeling so random now!

♥ Friday 27 April 2007.

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I dont want them to continue to tease me with effing furry.

I don’t like him

I hate him

The scandal reminds me of the painful past.

The scandal reminds me of him.

The scandal makes me emo.

I dont want to be emo.

I don’t want to be associated with him.

I detest him.

Why make it like that for me?

Why make me hate sch?

I love the class.

I love my gang.

I don want to dislike them

I just want to be happy with them.

But it has made me emo.

It made me feel as if salt was poured onto my recently closed wound.

I shall forget abt it.

I shall stay happy.

I LOVE EYEgang

* corner with love rawks!! =))*

♥ Thursday 26 April 2007.

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I’ve got lots to blog today.

1. School

I dunno what to say. School is putting me off. With those continuous tests. Which ive been failing. Like thank you. Getting 2^nd LOWEST IN LEVEL isn exactly the way to end my first test lor. Ha.

And TWELVE07 is like experiencing thinning population. first kok ming, then Kenneth, now Samuel. I tot we could be a happy lil group of 4. WHO NOES!?.

we had an EXTRA being transferred from SAJ to TJ. Reason being he stays nearer to TJ! I believe larhs. And guess who he is!? My lovely pri. Sch classmate enemy. Mr FURRY FURQAN. yucks. His name stinks my blog. he gave the class a bad impression on the first day alrd la. Pls lor. Newcomer talk so much. Don’t even bother to bond with the class. Like wth!? And on the 2^nd day, I started insulting and suaning him. who cares. And officially on WED, ANTI-FURQAN CLUBAFQ was formed! Thank you! Haa. Loser ass.

He’s in my pw grp, thanks to his stupid male chauvinist piggi characteristics, he was rejected by other groups. Ha. Im a nice person lor. I REN!! ITS MY RESULTS AT STAKE!! Ha.

Im loving EYEgang by the moment!!

2.friends

As stated, im loving EYEgang.

and im missing PSYCHOgang. I miss the crazy times with mama, grandmamma, and the gang. The laughs. The smiles. When can I get them to be by me again?

and im missing MAKANgang. I miss the foodiie times. Eating a lil of everyone’s food. Sitting and talking. Taking photos.

And im missing MJgang. mingyue, yunling, Debbie, EUNICE, zhiyuan. The times eating sausages at the benches outside PERKAFE. the times I pon chi and slack with Eunice babe. Those times…those times…

And I miss TKRCY. those laughter and tears they used to give me. Those proud times I used to have with them. Esp, when I saw them marching ard the parade ground during FDC07. those times. Those juniors. Yiyan. Qing xia. Jestin. Erwin. Shun him. aaron.

Oh. A photo of my lil prides.

3. myself

Im feeling so much better nowadays. Not as emo alrd. Seemingly getting over him. ha. Something I did after that thing.

Can see? Its just a screenshot of my msn, showing no msg history with him alrd. Ha. I guess tats one of the ways I can forget him. but like I told Li Lin, ill nv regret knowing him. ha. He’s stilla friend. Those hi and bye. =))

But nowadays, I feel as if im getting pissed so much more easily. Lil things can get me pissed off. And yest, while doing PI draft 3, Kenneth talked to me and tried to help me for PI. I ended up asking him to F off. Oh thanks Priscilla ho. How grateful u are!? Im sorry Kenneth. I wasn feeling good. Coz there wasn loser to help me with some qtns I had. But I had bubble too. Hee. My friends care so much for me. I use that as a basis to carry on happily. DEAR, LI L IN, LOVE, FEL, MAMA, BUBBLE, LOSER. I live for myself. I live for them.

Ive got a busy schedule ahead starting from tml.

Tml: PW lec after sch.

Sat: FIRST AID duty for CC in the morn. Tuition session with weifang in the afternoon. Swimming in late afternoon. Visit to grammys at nite.

Sun: mugging. PW Online discussion in the afternoon. Family dinner at night.

Mon: T/F finals duty. Class dinner.

Tues: mugg. Tuition with weifang if needed.

Wed: PW sharing session. Follow-up appt to docs.

Thrus: Econs essay test, Chem test. =((

Fri: LEO.

It spells sianness la.

I gotta go mugg!! Oh man!

Don miss me ppl!! Before I go,

MAKANgang’s photo on 21^st april! =))

Ciao.

♥ Sunday 22 April 2007.

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I want to be quarantined, but I don’t wanna get hand foot mouth!

Yuen has hand foot mouth.

Mama got fever.

Memi got fever plus a small spot on her foot!

I want to be quarantined!!! So we don need to go to sch!! But I don wanna get hand foot mouth!! I wanna be healthy!!

Boohoo!

Take care my dear friends!

♥ .

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I should not have gone for makan yest. It made me want to go back to MJ. It made me regret going TJ. I should have stayed in MJ, I could have been in bowling, it could have filled my empty life now.

However, I should not entertain such thots! I should be happy where I am now. I should be satisfied that I can be in TJ. I should be happy with my class. I should be happy with whatever I have now!

I feel loved!!

When I came online today, and saw so many tags on my board, I felt a surge of emo`ness. I noe there’re ppl caring for me out there, esp Li Lin and bubble! I noe ppl care for me, I noe ppl wan me to be happy. It makes me feel LOVED. It makes me happy! Hee.

I shall throw away all the past and regrets. I will throw away all the past and regrets. I must throw away all the past and regrets.

I love my friends!

Nxt mth’s makan : suntec!

♥ Saturday 21 April 2007.

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Use I don’t like my world now.

I don’t like my life now.

Why does the word goodbye exist in the world?

goodbye isn at all good.

TWELVE07 is currently experiencing thinning population.

TWELVE07 is making me regret my decision to stay in jc.

I should have appealed to poly when Kenneth said we could.

I should have just registered for poly in the first place.

I should respect my parents.

I should talk nicely to them.

Coz I need my pocket money.

Coz I need my dailies.

I should abolish the thought of going poly.

I should stop thinking about NYP.

I should do my best for PW.

I should do my best for myself.

I must get over him.

I must get over my past.

I must appreciate my present.

I must appreciate what I have now.

I must love my family.

I must love my friends/gangs.

I will do all those.

I will make it.

I want to go uni in 2009.

I will go to uni in 2009.

I will be happy.

I will be un-emo.

I am… liing’x

♥ Wednesday 18 April 2007.

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i haven been in best of moods these 2 days larhs. for the record, daddy started screaming at nothing in particular erly in the morn. grr. and there's this friend who jux dunno when to stop talking to me, even thou i obviously look super emo. lols

i dunno what made me so grr these 2 days. i guess the projects piling up, and some slacker who ALWAYS seem to be my grp for projects but nv does anything. well thanks.


haha. im being super self-concious these few days and ive decided to go on a diet!! woots~. everyday is breakfast at home, then soya bean for break, granola bar and soya bean for lunch, soupo for dinner. yay! and im gonna save money for my nets card soon! yipppessss!! i love mummy!

not to mention, sat = makan outing at marche, so much for my diet! haa. nv mind larhs, i cnt wait to see nana! =pp.


i miss dear larhs!!

♥ Tuesday 17 April 2007.

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TODAY IS 17 APRIL

2007!!!!

It may be a simple day to many,, but it’s a special(?) day for this person!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMBROSE SIR!!!

YEA. Its bubble`s birthday today!

So being a nice person and to thank bubble for being such a nice nice person, I shall dedicate this post to bubble!

I rmb I got to know bubble when he became TKRCY’S VI. as usual, VI = nothing to us. BUT, he made us change our perspectives of HQ ppl. He was the one who made us sit down and throw out all our grievances, made us stronger as a unit. He was the one whose enthusiasm in red cross made me enthu in red cross too. He was the one who gave me motivation to carry on serving the unit during difficult times. He was the one who always helped us with OA. he was the one who helped us liaise with HQ for stuff. These were the things he did for the unit.

Then, he was the ONLY one to come for our squad outings. He was the ONLY one who bothered to interact with the squad. He was the ONLY one who treated out squad, haha. I still wont forget, the first squad gathering, at SUSHI TEI @ TAKA, we tricked him that he was giving us a treat, and he actually agreed! But in the end, we treated him to the sushi and he treated us to SWENSONS ice-cream. he made sure we reached home safely. Haa.

Outside the squad and unit, he’s such a LOVELY, CARING, WONDERFUL friend to me. Always helping me… keeping me away from boredom when online, giving me an avenue to release my psycho`ness. And most recently, my most recent decision. He helped me cope with it, made me realize my wrong decisions, made me wake up from my reverie. He made sure I was ok, he believed in me that I know what to do. He was the one who helped me through this crisis! THANK YOU BUBBLE!!

I don`t call him bubble for nothing! He’s sure bubbly and always happy, influencing us to stay happiie too! =DDD

Tats y I cnt imagine how bleak my life will be when he enlists into NS! L

He says he has a missing piece of life. hee. I believe that he can make it. He will be able to find that missing piece real soon! He will have a complete life puzzle soon! I believe it`ll be filled with colours! Filled with love. Filled with sweets! Haa! =p

ALL WILL BE WELL SOON! Bubble!! =))

Once again,

THANK YOU

&

HAPPY 20^TH

BIRTHDAY!!

AMBROSE SIR

a.k.a

BUBBLE!

** im the onlyone who can call you bubble!! **

♥ .

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I went crazy today. Hurhur. But firstly, finally I didn emo over him today. Yay!

Was doing gp and econs ppt till late last nite, went to do chem. Bonding tuto after that and fell asleep at my table. So much for bubble to ask me to slp after I finish my work! I DID NOT even finish half of it! Im POWERgirl! hee. Im averaging 5hrs of sleep aday. So much for trying to reduce my panda dark eye rings and eyebag ehs. Haa. =p

Swimming was slack. Coz we were slow in changing into swimming gear, everyone was made to walk 5 rounds around the pool. Pls la! I think it was coz the pool wasn ready for use larhs. Grr. And I started to criticize the stupid old teacher. Haha. =D then swimming swim like 10 laps of the BREATH of the pool. Like wth! Make me go there early in the morn and ask me to do that! Grrr!!

Den lessons I started gging crazy. I dunno for what. Ha. I was fighting the demon of hunger from distracting me in lesson. In the end, maths lec, I ended up listening to my phone radio! Haa!

Ate yummy fish + spaghetti + coleslaw. so much for my diet! Oh ya, and I shared a cup of sea-coconut with LOVEchewy! ;) $4 lunch! So much for my saving plan! =p

But I will start tml! I will I will!

Haha! Den phy I think our class pissed bugsbunny mr neo. Coz very few ppl did phy tuto. Haha! Den we were laughing laughing laughing! Den after that I think he was quite pissed and asked why we were so not serious. Den crazy me was like COZ YOU’RE FUNNY! den I forgot what he said, and I replied him coz we enjoy your lesson that’s why we keep laughing. den he gimme that buay song face. Like wth! Spoiler! I was so bad mood the rest of the lesson. Luckily it was the last lesson alrd. I wasn listening in class la. I was typing msges in my phone and passing to yuen who was sitting right at the other end of the row! Ha! Pro`ness.

Anw ppl!

THANK YOU for cheering me up! Tagging at my blog. Smsing me to make sure im ok. Esp, BUBBLE!! =)) and darling LiLin, bf-haoning, psycho WEIQI, LOVEchewy! mamaBIRDGET!

I guess ive learnt to stand up myself! I guess ive learnt that LOVE IS NOTHING.

„_^_†ì无mT?©¨

♥ Monday 16 April 2007.

> O.V.E.R. <

its all over. i promise, it's over. ill get over it. ill forget it. ill forget that it ever existed. ill forget those times. i will. i promise i will.

talked to bubble for a longlong time yest nite. is i wan him to talk to me coz i was bored doing my hw. haa. while waiting for the econs ppt. =p

talked from emo to him. him as in ky. i know ive nv used his name here. its always panda and panda and more of panda. i guess its really time i come out of my shell which i used to hide my feelings in.i guess talking abt ky is like a taboo topic. i nv talk abt him with other ppl except bubble and LiLin. and yest's talk with bubble made me realise some things, which i may have known, but nv believed. things which ive nv known.

i felt a change in him, yet it wasn a change at all. i didn realise that it has been like that all the time. he was such a guy, i didn know till bubble told me.


bubble told me that loving someone is making them happy. and he didn make me happy. he doesn deserve my love. but! he was once the one who always made me happy, kept me sane and cheerful though the days. yet it changed so quickly that i cldn accept it. i waited to no avail. he made me sad after those wonderful times. i had noone to talk to; noone to turn to when i was down. all that used to be there was gone.

i guess my previous post, as compared to this post is totally an irony. i insisted that ill wait, but now im giving up. but i am REALLY giving up. i guess i cnt carry on this way. i cnt carry on waiting. i cnt carry on being sad coz of him.

i guess that simple hihi and hello yest was the last time? i dunno. but somehow i hope not. i still wan to be friends with him. maybe not.

whatever it is...all i noe is that ill stick to my stand. ill stay strong for those who truely love me. ill forget him. i promise!! i even deleted all the msg histories. i noe what im supposed to do. bubble noe i noe what i am supposed to do. i won disappoint him. i won disappoint my dear friends. ill smile for them. ill stay happy for them! for LiLin, bf-haoning, chewy, dear, bubble.. i noe i CAN DO IT and i will! i conquer all those tears and i stand up bravely and SMILE.

finally thanks to BUBBLE! for those pep talks. CHEWY for making me smile and for that lovely msg. LiLin and Haoning for caring for me and making sure im ok.

i will be ok. i will be fine. ill cry no more.


LEADERS DONT CRY! LEADERS LEARN!!thou i dont noe if i still can call myself a leader.
ive learnt my lesson and i won make the same one again. =)

♥ Sunday 15 April 2007.

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How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You give and take equally in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

You Are Pretty Happy

You generally have a happy, fulfilling life. But things could be a little better, and deep down, you know it. Maybe you need more supportive friends or a more challenging career. Something is preventing you from being totally happy. You just need to figure out what it is!

No way. Those are what ambrose sir got too! Eeks. Gahs. Haha.

You Are an Okay Student

You know how to get by school, but your heart isn't always in it. Motivation is a problem for you. Maybe you need to study something more exciting!

I knew it! I will nv be an A student like LiLin. You call me a slacker for a reason. =p

Doing my phy forces tuto and im glad to say I UNDERSTAND whatever im doing. Of coz with referral to notes la. Ha. Given that I don listen in lecs, its good! Wahhaa. And I forgot to say that I actually listened in Econs lec on thrus. Maybe its coz jialin was sittin beside me. Ha. She doesn induce slp in me. I guess I have to sit between bridget and jialin for lecs. Maybe den I won slp! Ha! =P

**study hard girl! U have to STUDY!! U have to ACE JCT!! You don wanna waste $400 if you flunk your tests.**

***FAU on wed! yippeeee!! I cnt wait. I going hyper on FA nowadays! =))))) ***

♥ .

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Stupid is me. Freaking idiot is who I am. I simply dunno how to let go of things that obviously don belong to me.

He used to lead me in life.

like this.

But now, the distance between us like a million gazillion miles. So far, never ever so far. He comes online, im online, we both do nothing to acknowledge each other. No Hi, no qtns asked. I feel stupid. I feel dumb. I hold on for so long. Trying to keep our relationship to that of simple friends. Yet, nothings achieved. Our friendship has gone from confidantes, to best friends, to normal friends, to acquaintances, to now, strangers. Our relationship seems like a car, accelerating down a hill. We used talk about anything under the sun, we used laugh with each other. We no longer do those things anymore.

I feel like letting go. I feel like forgetting you. I feel like giving you that last smile and leaving forever. I feel like disappearing from your world. Or maybe ive long disappeared from your world. Every word you say is like a sharp sword, stabbing repeatedly at my heart. Coz everytime you speak, it causes me to think about those times. Those times when id talk to you and continue by msging you. those times when your msges will put me to sleep.

A simple Hi is impossible now. A simple goodnite is impossible too. But I do miss those times.

you have alrd left imprints in my life. even the strongest storms cnt wash them away. Yet im trying to wash them away. I noe I cnt, but ill try. Its difficult, but ill try.

But should I? I noe I cnt live without your memories. Letting go would hurt. I think even the stupidest person in the world will think that im even more stupid than him.

even if I let go, there will still be that little contact between you and me. There will still be that reluctance holding me back from letting you go.

I don want to be like this. I don want to be the one lying down there. I wan to be up like you. I want to beside you. I don think I can let you go. I don think I can forget you.

Call me dumb. Call me stupid. Call me idiotic. Call me despo. Call me whatever you want. I love him. I won give up. I promise a Hi the next time he comes online. I promise a goodnite when he comes online. Coz I love him. I need those memories to keep me going.

I will wait.

On a lighter note, some pictures I took on fri.

me and lovely LiLin in TK =))

yuen and me.

chewy and me. I now my hair looks retarded.

me and yuen again.

Rmb me!

I promise I will smile more. =D

♥ Thursday 12 April 2007.

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When the world goes dark

Will you guide me through?

When the world goes into flames

Will you bring me to safety?

When everyone leaves me

Will you still stand by me?

Because,

When the world goes dark

I’ll be the first to guide you through.

Because,

When the world goes into flames

I’ll be the first to bring you to safety.

Because,

When everyone leaves you

I’ll still stand beside you.

I just want you to know that no matter what

I’ll always be there for you.

Though you’ve never been here for me,

I’ll always be there for you.

Even if you move away from me

I’ll always be there for you.

Because I love

Because I miss

Because I like

Because I care

I love, I miss, I like, I care for you.

I want you to be happy.

I want you to be loved.

I want you to be who you are.

Reminiscing the old times with him.

tml going back to tk for games carnival! Yay! =)) I finally can see my lovely juniors and darliie weifang, mummie, grandmamma! Yayyyy! =))

lovelovelove. <3

♥ Wednesday 11 April 2007.

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You are trying to evade your problems and difficulties and tensions by 'leaping before you look'. This could be construed as a 'panic' situation and panic is an irrational fear - 'loss of control'. You are desperately seeking a way out of it all and because of any headstrong decisions that you may be making this could lead to an extremely dangerous situation. Slow down - matters seem to find a way of resolving themselves. Without sounding complacent remember that 'all's well that ends well'.

At this time you 'need to be needed' and again you 'need to need'. You have had this feeling for some time now and you are looking for someone who could share a close bond in an atmosphere of shared intimacy. You have the belief that with the right person you could conquer the world.

You feel unhappy because you feel that you are not able to obtain the co-operation of those around you. All you would like at this time would be to achieve harmony within your circle.

You are presently experiencing excessive stress as a result of self-restraint. You act and think differently from the common herd and you want to be liked and admired for yourself and to associate with people who feel and act as you do. Because of this need to be self-reliant and to break away from mediocrity, you are finding this situation most uncomfortable and you are experiencing considerable anxiety - perhaps even more than you feel the capacity to cope with. You need to find a 'soul mate', someone whose standards are as high as your own - but where? Keep on searching... The situation is uncomfortable and you would like to break away from it, but you refuse to compromise with your opinions. You are unable to resolve the situation because you are continually postponing the making of necessary decisions. You are stubborn but this is no deterrent to a happy life, so why drop your standards. Think positively, everything will work out. It has worked out successfully for you in the past and it will again in the future.

The tensions induced by trying to cope with conditions which are beyond your capabilities, or your reserves of strength, have led to considerable anxiety and a sense of personal inadequacy. Your inability to take control of the situation causes you to over-react in stubborn defiance blaming everyone but yourself for your own failures.

♥ Monday 9 April 2007.

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♥ Saturday 7 April 2007.

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6 weird facts abt myself

1.i fall in love with guys who love other girls. Its weird la. The guys I like just like other girls. haa

2.i hate pai kias. But I am a pai kia myself.

3.i love spinning imaginary stories of myself. The stories are like so perfect. And normally, these stories are continual and they put me to sleep.

4.i have a habit of covering my whole body with my blanket and hugging my huge bolster when I sleep. Even if it is freaking hot.

5.i love zi lianing with my friends, but surprisingly not when my family is around.

6.im always emo. Silly thots always exist in my mind. But no one knows it when im emo. Well sometimes they do, mostly they don’t. when im at my quietest doesn mean that im emo-ing. It mite be the time when im most hyper that im emo-ing.


just do if you want.

♥ Thursday 5 April 2007.

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Yay! Blogskin changed! Used this before. =)) somehow missed it. So decided to use it again! =)) hee XD

Tml’s GOOD FRIDAY! think ill be gging out the whole day. =D morn go meet part of psycho gang in town to celebrate kimkim’s birthday!! Joining them for lunch! =)) then after that, gging to bugis to meet EYE GANG! weee. 1^st outing! =)) hopefully eyeBALL can come too!! Then having dinner together!! Hee!!

Im such a happiie girl today!! =))))

And oh ya, I got my pw grouping liaos. My group members are : Felicia, weekee, zie wearn, Samuel. Haa. Think shld be ok bah.. haa ;)

Whooppiiiee! XD

Start a day with a smile. =)