happy cny.
the element of happy is ever so low.
i realised that all the happy whatever festivals are never happy for me. for when others are out celebrating, i'll be stuck somewhere alone, thinking alot. that me. i'd rather prefer normal days than the happy whatever days.that being said.
i spent the second day of happy cny sleeping and stoning and watching cars go by. literally. i woke up, ate breakfast, napped, ate lunch, watch dnyby, bathe, went to grandma's hse, stone, eat dinner, watch cars go by.
after dinner, i was feeling real bored alrd. the adults were gambling, my cousins were too. i didn feel like gambling, plus i didn bring money,
i think its a waste of money, so i watched teevee.
eldest uncle came to give me half a cup of bailey to drink. i'd been asking to drink red wine, but kids weren't allowed so being the eldest female kid, i got half a cup of bailey. loser said its 15% alcohol was it? lols. i loved the feeling when i drank it. it wasn nice, but it managed to push down some sorrows. and i was so happy i msged loser. coz i've been irritating him for vodka lols.slacked ard. was real tempted to just pour red wine to drink, but decided not to risk it la. love will kill, the adults will kill too.
everything was getting so boring.
and so, i walked out, wanting to go to the swing i spent my childhood at. BUT my aunt walked there just 2 minutes before me. ppooorrr me
so,
i walked to the driveway outside and leaned against the railing of the drain, another place i spent my childhood at. i rmb sitting there with my grandma holding on to me. i sat there, on my mp3 and just watched cars go by. it was real peaceful. i saw this lone star in the dark sky.
i know i was feeling emo, but i was thinking nothing. there was really nothing in my mind. i was just staring at the cars go by. and i realised something which i've alrd shared with eli.
everyone in my life is just like a passing car.
the only difference is the duration it stops by me.
some stop for a long time,
they're those
who will stay by me for a long long time.
some stop for only a period of time,
they're those
who might be there when you need them, but disappear after awhile.
the rest don't stop at all
they're those
who are just sent by god to test us and do not deserve us to get hurt over
their departure.
if i can take things much more easily
hi's and bye's would not be that difficult
and life would be much more pleasant.
its just all about the 4 letter word.
time
i know i'm walways thinking abt all this kindda things, but i nv seem to act on them. i guess its again, time.
time is such a wonderful thing. it can hurt, yet it can heal the very same thing
that hurt. maybe its time for me to be good to time so that time would be
better
to me too.
today was eqaully boring.
thee only thing fun was talking to eli online and influencing her into fussing abt what to wear tml. lols.
everything will be fine my love. =)
anticipating tml. lunch with eli @ arnolds'. then parteh at laoshi's hse. then dinner tgt? i'm not gging to think of money tml. i'm gging to enjoy my last day of holiday coz it'll be work after tml.
did i mention that i love my this distant uncle. he's 20+ i think. he's malaysian but working in s'pore. he's real nice and i think he really deserves his current gf lor. they've been tgt for almost 2 years +. and he's real caring la. when he saw me stoning outside, he came to ask me if i was sad or sick. and he was the only one to ask abt my studies, the only one to understand my pressure in tj. well, i only see him once a year, but i look forward to everytime i see him. aye. ah chong shushu,
thats what i call him rocks ass la.
i want more alcohol and more of watching cars go by pls. they make my life less miserable.until i get over you. when will that be?Labels: daily random, emo
