you know how it feels when you're supposed to do something, but you don't and someone accuses you of not doing it, but you'd deny it.you'd feel guilty.and i normally feel like this during music lessons.you know how it feels when you normally do not do something you're supposed to do, but you do it this particular time, but someone still accuses you of not doing it.you'd feel disappointed, pissed.and i felt like this during music lesson on saturday.i practised my piano. but yet it wasn good enough for her. maybe i didn practise as frequently as i'm supposed to, but i tried to practise. i really did. and i almost cried while playing. i could play them at home ok. i hate it la. its so sickening for my standard to just fall like this during lesson time. rawrs.i feel like i'm living in denial everyday. i convince myself that i should be contented with my life and all. but i'm not. i try to convince myself that i no longer care if he msges me, but i do.i feel like a liar everyday. everything i do, i say are such lies. i just want to protect my emotions and my life. but i often do not achieve my aim. more often than not, i show alot of emotions when i lie, esp to my mum............i spent my saturday watching shows online, i just started on TKA, cont'd with YLWBS, drinking soup, eating rum & raisin ice cream and astons', crying in my room, fiddling with my lappie, stretching my legs, sleeping.i spent my sunday sleeping, headaching over fees, mac-brunch with mama & fel, stroll around bedok, borrowing books from library.and my wireless at home is screwed lor. like just 1 week only. damn............life's really making feel sea-sick. its so up and down and up and down.whenever things make me happy, there'd be things to push me down. then there'll be happy things. then sad things.i think the only thing that made me happy over the weekend was* him msging me on his own accord. muahaha. i think i can see him on wed. dear, can we go??* brunch with mama & fel.* the lil brown dress. i wanna get it!!! i shall keep on trying to stay happy.wanna catch SOL, buy dress, jeans, top. blehs. shall try to get the moolah for it.andandand, i can meet the makan gang for makan soon!! mARCHE!! haha. mummy didn put me down for work. muaha.lil superhero girli shall try.Labels: emo, everythingg, happy, music
