i've always been called a cry baby by my relatives.i used to not admit it.but as i grew older.i'm beginning to accept the fact that i am indeed a crybaby.a very big one indeedi cry over lil things. i cry over everything.i cry ,when things don't meet my expectations
when i'm bored
when i'm crazy
when i'm alone at night
when my msges go unreplied
when dates are cancelled
when i'm stressed
when i listen to songs
when i watch sad movies
when i'm sick
when mummy doesn buy me what i want
when daddy jokingly insults me
when bro takes my soft toys
when I scream at mummy
when i think of ah-gong
when i miss des
when i try to make myself let go
when my friends don't know that i'm sad
when i learn that i'd unknowingly made my friend sad.
when my friends are sadd. esp LOVE
when i cnt play my piano well.
when i cnt do my drills perfectly.
when i realise i am not a leader
when i'm running late
when i'm homesick
basically i cry over everything and anything.i'm not that strong and hardy person people see me as. others may see me as this girl who's confident and strong and does not cry easily. but all those are just that outer shell of me. the shell that was trained out due to the circumstances i've been in. camps, family, friends. camps. one aim. never give up, continue till the end.family. one reason. you're even in more fault when you cry.friends. one rule. never spoil their happiness with your crying.and that is why not many have really seen me cry. probably only my 2 gfs. Li Lin and LOVE. only they've seen me cry. and of course some of the OCIP ppl when i cried in yunnan. apart from them, only Li Lin and LOVE have seen me cry. Li Lin in particular. ever since sec 3 when we became super close.. she's seen me cry numerous times, over KY, but mostly rc stuff.LOVE, in recent times, feel my tears most of the times when i cry coz of des. she nv really sees me cry, but she knows when i'm crying. she's by far, the only one, to be able to detect my emo-ness by chatting with me.as much as i hate myself for being such a cry baby, i cnt help it. its just me. i grew up in an environment where i had to fend for myself. growing up with grandparents and male cousins, ain't the best way to make one strong. when i was young, i cried to gain attention. when i grew older, i cried because i was sad. now, i cry because of everything. how ironic.i guess w/o my friends to accompany me through, i'd have cried my eyes blind. this specially applies to LOVE and LOSER! esp, loser. if he hasn been there to entertain my whine and emo-ness, i'd be crying very often because i've got no release outlet. thanks loser.and LOVE, if it wasn her to emo with me, so i'd have to comfort her, i;d be crying very often at night too! thanks LOVE!v<3and DEAR too. she hates me to cry. she always wants me to be stronger. and always i'd try. and when i fail, she forgive me and it makes me feel guilty and make me wanna be stronger. oh my dear DEAR!i blogged about this because i felt a lil irritated with myself for crying alot. and this came about when i was crying in the office toilet. i had no one to talk to, no music to accompany me, all the documents they asked me to scan felt so foreign, was afraid that i'd have lots of rejects and they'd complain and i'd lose my job. i felt stressed and lonely. there was no loser. so i went to the toilet and cried. when i came out of the cubicle and saw myself in the mirror, i felt loser-ish. =.=in conclusion, no one has ever seen my full bucket of tears. but call me crybaby for all you want. coz i am a crybaby. period.will you even know..Labels: character, emo
