♥ Monday, 7 January 2008.
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lowering my expectations...i almost broke down at work today.i just felt like crying so much.dunno for what.and i tore almost half of a document.dunno what happened also.i looked at the whole stack of documents needed to be scanned.i think of the 3 boxes of documents that needs to be scanned by the end of this wk.i look at my phone.i think of the msges sent.. and nv replied.i look at myself in the reflection of the comp.i think that i'm just a total failure and a total wreck.i look at the scanner scanningand my tears just swelled up in my eyes.i look aroundand i rub my tears away.i dunno what's happening to me.seriously.work no longer provides the escapade i used to seek.not to mention i've got a new colleague at work with the same name as....i hate working now.really dread it.i want to go back to school badly.back to twelve or 4b.where i've got my girlfriends to talk to. be it love, mama, lilin, dear, or even hayden.i want sch life back.sometimes i really think i have real high expectations of my friends.esp close friends.esp confidantes.but often.they malfunction.and i really feel like total trash.only dear will reply my msges almost instantly.and sometimes. i totally feel so much more at ease talking to dear than anyone else.thou alot of things. only love and lilin knows.maybe its just me and only me that has a problem.i somehow feel that every part of me is so sad-2007i really want to change every part of me.including my attitude. my character. my hair. my specs. my body. my room. my clothes.everything.everything reminds me of everything of the worst year of 2007.sucks totally.i have half a mind to just snip my hair off by myself.tye my hair into a ponytail and snip it off.and its super dark monday blues today.tml will be super dark tuesday.some things shouldn have been done.it hurts lesser.Labels: emo
[ ♥ LIL SUPERHERO GIRL @ 22:50 ]
