> going... <
I thought that after each episode, I would be able to learn how to be strong and not to cry.
Yet time and again, when it comes to me, I am unable to hold back the disappointment.
I really need to learn.
I really need someone to teach me to be strong.
Just the weekends and the hols will be over. It is like the worst hols I have ever had. Falling sick was not in my plans. Yet it just caught me like that. It sux. Thanks to the stomach flu, I could not even concentrate on studying and it really affected me yest and today.
I have been asking myself since last week. Asking why I am in the jc system. Why I am holding on to the jc system. Is it because of my parents. Or my friends. Or my teachers. Or my future. I feel really tired and stressed amongst all other things. I see everyone around me all working so hard, yet I take things real easy. Will this even be a repeat of last year, where last minute hard work pays off.
The fun is wearing off.
The grip is no longer as tight.
I feel myself slipping off the slope.
I feel the whole world crashing already.
Noone really knows how I really feel deep inside
Coz I myself do not even know
What do I even want in the end
What is it that I want to see after all the hard work
I guess the truth is hidden from me
I need the support that I used to have
The support that is lost
I guess promos will be the last test for me
Fail it and I will leave the crazy place
For somewhere which might hold a brighter future for me
For now
I guess
Its really a goodbye to everything
And a big yell for the books
