He used to lead me in life.

like this.

But now, the distance between us like a million gazillion miles. So far, never ever so far. He comes online, im online, we both do nothing to acknowledge each other. No Hi, no qtns asked. I feel stupid. I feel dumb. I hold on for so long. Trying to keep our relationship to that of simple friends. Yet, nothings achieved. Our friendship has gone from confidantes, to best friends, to normal friends, to acquaintances, to now, strangers. Our relationship seems like a car, accelerating down a hill. We used talk about anything under the sun, we used laugh with each other. We no longer do those things anymore.

I feel like letting go. I feel like forgetting you. I feel like giving you that last smile and leaving forever. I feel like disappearing from your world. Or maybe ive long disappeared from your world. Every word you say is like a sharp sword, stabbing repeatedly at my heart. Coz everytime you speak, it causes me to think about those times. Those times when id talk to you and continue by msging you. those times when your msges will put me to sleep.

A simple Hi is impossible now. A simple goodnite is impossible too. But I do miss those times.

you have alrd left imprints in my life. even the strongest storms cnt wash them away. Yet im trying to wash them away. I noe I cnt, but ill try. Its difficult, but ill try.

But should I? I noe I cnt live without your memories. Letting go would hurt. I think even the stupidest person in the world will think that im even more stupid than him.

even if I let go, there will still be that little contact between you and me. There will still be that reluctance holding me back from letting you go.

I don want to be like this. I don want to be the one lying down there. I wan to be up like you. I want to beside you. I don think I can let you go. I don think I can forget you.

Call me dumb. Call me stupid. Call me idiotic. Call me despo. Call me whatever you want. I love him. I won give up. I promise a Hi the next time he comes online. I promise a goodnite when he comes online. Coz I love him. I need those memories to keep me going.

I will wait.

On a lighter note, some pictures I took on fri.

me and lovely LiLin in TK =))

yuen and me.

chewy and me. I now my hair looks retarded.

me and yuen again.

Rmb me!

I promise I will smile more. =D