Sch was so sucky today…never felt so emo ever since getting to noe my gang in 12/07… I felt like real upset over dunno what thing… jux cnt pintpoint out the cause of it. Its like I jux feel like shutting my gap today… had to force myself to talk to bridget and chewy they all to stop myself from emo`ing… I duunno why… class time also like quite slack… every free time, I would be there slumping over my table, staring into nowhere. Den physics prac was real bad… I didn even noe wtf I was doing… like I was lost in another world… I wasn even paying attention to whatever was going on… this feeling sux la… for like 1 wk+ I’ve not been emo`ing…now like tat…I seriously feel myself jux dropping into a never-ending hole of emotions la… guess it was ****** who was like sitting almost beside me in the morn la… eff.
And today was yunnan ocip interview…I think it’s a goner lorhs… I didn even noe what nonsense I was talking… shit.
Why did I ever get myself into this shit la. Everyday in tj is like study, laugh, feel stupid, eat and the cycle goes on. Why did I even want to come to tj. I shld have happily gone NYP to study nursing… get my effing diploma… go work and get an effing schlorship to uni. Why did I even comply to everyone’s wish for me to get into a bloody jc. Grrrrrrrghs. Im so screwed up, stressed up, pissed off. Like to hell with them. I really feel like dropping out of sch… I wldn need to be mugging my ass off now. I cld be earning $$ giving tuition, practicing my piano like noone’s business…shopping with dear like forever. Damn.
And to add on further, dumdum panda is like starting to talk to me again…making me miss the past again…plus the load of helping zong get his notes… and the fact that im seeing that someone everyday in sch is like making me further losing focus…
Everyone is like trying to mug their ass off and here I am, thinking of giving up everything. Why didn I treasure my time in mj? Why didn I make myself enjoy myself in mj? Why did I think of coming to tj? Why didn I go mj? Shitshitshit. I miss mj. Miss phobos. Miss eric kua. Miss tk. Miss 4b. miss mama. Sighs.
Im going to emo and mug my effing ass off soon. Shit. There’s pe tml. I have to wear that effing sleveless tee. And show my effing flabby arms. Thanks lots.
solitude is good
